Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Shannon]

Not to hijack Shannon, but that reminds me of my situation with girls.

DMSI/you are saying Point Z is possible, where girls around me that I'm very attracted to, CAN be not only very sexually attracted to me after all somehow, but then proceed to drive the interaction instead of me tending to feel like I'm driving it to boot, and that they can aggressively pursue me to have sex with them. To me, a 38 year old virgin who hasn't dated a girl or kissed one before, this seems so extreme, it's so difficult, if not impossible, for me to truly get behind at least initially. It's just way too much to wrap my head around as being possible from this level is all. I think that is the biggest stumbling block, probably more so than fear. That it just seems so far out of the realm of my reality, girls I am attracted to, actually liking me and valuing me as a REAL option to them beyond some friend zone BS as usual, and somehow chasing me to have sex. The whole concept of that seems so impossible and unrealistic for me. Coming from my position, it seems so ludicrous, so it's very hard to internalise. The self esteem and self worth, self validation are always at such a low level due to this lack of success with girls. There's almost no positive, tangible, reliable feedback to those 3 things and help them grow. So, it's a sense of always feeling bogged down, chasing fumes of those 3 things, and never making progress with girls, and always feeling beneath them and that they're out of my reach. Which of course makes the design goal "Point Z" even more distant from my reality.

I think it may be so hard to imagine, because the only thing I have to go off of, is either movies or tv shows, showing attractive girls chasing guys for sex. I literally don't have any of those kinds of experiences to draw off of. It's sad...but true. But even then, it's still a third-person experience, so I really have no frame of reference for such a concept. I've seen girls do that for other guys over time, so I DO know what it looks like, but again, it's third-person. Girls just don't act that way for ME, I'm just not that "hot bad boy guy" they drool for, so I just have no idea what it feels like. Being in such a deep drought for my life with girls, being the "amazing great guy (that they aren't attracted to)" and essentially only having hugs with them my whole life (again, pathetic but it's real talk...), seeing something so far out of my furthest point of reality, is very hard to get behind I think.

So, piggybacking off your previous post and concept, how can the sub take someone from such a low level of aptitude and understanding and even belief in it's premise, to fully achieving the goal of said program? I know it may naturally not be reality yet in a sub of course. I just mean, conceptually, how can that be achieved in a sub? Or rather, CAN that be achieved? Perhaps it is just too far of a leap, which I can respect if so.

Just trying to allow a window into my thought process etc. in the hopes that something of value can be gleamed since FRM/DMSI work is ongoing now. I have no intention of an argument or debate, I just wanted to open up a window for R&D sake.

Thank you for everything, Shannon. I look forward to the next installment of both FRM and DMSI.

EDIT: Perhaps it the next version doesn't result in a large change in results for many, the "dam breaking" like you say, it might be worth it to explore another option. I saw your post about a "stage 0" for AM7, great idea. A step up stage, to prepare people for the program. That might be a good idea here. Maybe it's just too much of an ask for some of us initially I guess, unfortunately. Hopefully not, one stage is best, but in the end, that's a solid option, better than nothing.

I'm not interested in arguing or debating either.  But I'll say this.  In your case, I have said it before and I will say it again.  The problem you have is that you subconsciously refuse to allow yourself to do the things that will result in the goal you consciously want.  Saying that you can't imagine it, can't accept it, etc. is just saying that you're not willing to change in the ways that are needed, and that unwillingness is a choice designed to keep you here you are, which it is doing very effectively.

It's not hard to allow yourself to have an open mind to new experiences and new opportunities.  It's how a lot of people change, and achieve growth and change, but you refuse to do it, and you have always refused to do it.  The programs were succeeding at making that change for a little while, and then you crushed that response.  Ever since, you've been refusing to unlock yourself to change, while trying to say you have no point of reference, no way of believing it, etc.

If you can imagine it happening, it can happen.  If you can't imagine it happening, then you're not letting yourself imagine it, and the only reason for that is to prevent it from happening.  Simple as that.

The first step to any change is to have that change form in your mind.  You become aware of it, you contemplate it, you imagine it.  Without that, you're dead in the water.  No building was ever built that was not first imagined before building started.  What we cannot imagine, we cannot achieve.  And you can literally imagine it, but you refuse to allow yourself to accept that it is a possibility.  Again, to prevent it from happening, because some part of you is apparently vested in preventing it at any costs.  The only reasons I can think of for that, given what you've said, are that you have to let go of the emotional scars you bear concerning your childhood broken arm.  Realize that that threat is not universal, does not apply anymore.  

I have already done everything I know how to do to change that for you.  Quite literally, the only thing left that I think might work is FRM.  And so far even that has failed.

As I said before, the key to all of it is to be willing to accept it as being possible.  When you can do that, you can achieve it because the door won't be closed, locked, barred and barricaded anymore.  You use that as a defense against DMSI succeeding, because it's one of the only ways that you can stop DMSI from succeeding.

I hope you can make that change, and I also hope that I can figure out how to advance FRM to help you do it if need be.  But that is how I see the situation.  You don't need to go from Point A to Point Z, you need to open your mind to the idea that Point Z was have been targeted because it is possible.