EP UMS JOURNAL

[EvolvingPhoenix]

"Because as a result of Experience X (and possibly Y, Z, etc.) I conclude that I have no value in and of myself, so I need to seek value from others."

Which you could respond to by asking, "Does it make sense that I would conclude that I have no value as a result of those experiences?" to which the answer, of course, is "No."  So then you've found yourself a logical fallacy which has led you to make a conclusion that is in error and act like it is true, which effectively makes it true for you as long as you believe it is valid.  

To which the solution would be to realize the error, invalidate the belief that you have no value, and start focusing on being the one who values you, and providing yourself with forgiveness, attention, care, love, approval, etc. 

It seems I'm struggling to accept that the assertion that I have no value is a fallacy. 

I keep telling myself: "My experiences were only REFLECTIONS of my faulty beliefs, not evidence that my faulty beliefs were TRUE."

but I'm still working on reprogramming myself to believe: "I DO have value. I AM worthy of (ex-friend). I AM good enough as I am." 

And I'm still working on accepting Shannon's assertion that we can love ourselves AS WE ARE, as well as improve ourselves.

I am still working on appreciating myself AS I ALREADY AM. And until I can, I have a harder time doing the things that bring me more into alignment with how I prefer to be.

EP. Maybe you should try a different tack for a while. Instead of focusing on how you feel you have no value, why don’t you try looking at all of the reasons that you do. There is something (more than one) about you that is just plain awesome. You should find one of them, then tell us about it in detail. What is it? Why do you have that feature? How will it help you in life?

I'm also having a hard time with this. Why do I have such a hard time coming up with what makes me awesome?