09-27-2019, 06:10 PM
(09-27-2019, 05:22 PM)whome Wrote: Before starting up with this, I want to lay out my intentions and my hopes.
The main thing that I’m looking for healing with is a ball of pain in my chest. It’s a combination of existential terror/panic, and self-hatred, with the occasional freakout when I experience what I describe as “the worst acid trip you’ve ever been on”. I tried running LTU (see my LTU journal) but it wasn’t strong enough to get through.
The reason I’m trying DMSI is that a lot of the same issues are connected to sexuality. When I feel sexual arousal, I feel intense grief. When I feel sexual desire, I can feel the burning of self-hatred and worthlessness. I experience the grief and pain in my chest in all areas of my life, but facing sexuality focuses things down.
Which is why I’m hoping that DMSI will be useful. FRM is in there to achieve the purposes of the program, but so many of the larger issues that I want traction with in my life are also issues that are directly in the way of me having sex and a sex life. So fingers crossed.
Man, I hope you get what you want out of this. You deserve to feel better.
