08-18-2019, 05:31 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-18-2019, 05:31 AM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Had another dream where I was unfairly shunned by friends and family. I got belligerent in this one too, but unlike the last one, I remained nearly voiceless, even as I was yelling violent threats. It's like, I'm yelling threats to beat peoples' skulls in with a hammer if I ever see them again, but all I can muster is a whisper. I think E3 is working on some DEEPLY rooted issues regarding anger, violent rage, and a feeling of being abandoned an rejected by friends and family. I was downright murderous in my rage, yet I could barely do more than whisper my hostile threats, try as I might to yell. I was still voiceless. I wonder what this all means?
On a side note, since I'm just lying around and constantly sleeping or in a half asleep state anyway, I've decided to practice and develop my use of the Becoming Method. I'm imagining myself at a cafe in Amsterdam or Arnhem, sitting outside in the cold with all the background noise, with my ex-friend sitting across from me saying: "I'm sorry I ghosted you. Let's be friends again" and coming in to hug me with me saying "Thank you" while I'm in a hypnogogic state. This is surprisingly difficult to imagine with all my senses and emotions. Even though I'm not even using taste and smell, just touch sound and sight. The emotional part is difficult too. I've got my work cut out for me.
On a side note, since I'm just lying around and constantly sleeping or in a half asleep state anyway, I've decided to practice and develop my use of the Becoming Method. I'm imagining myself at a cafe in Amsterdam or Arnhem, sitting outside in the cold with all the background noise, with my ex-friend sitting across from me saying: "I'm sorry I ghosted you. Let's be friends again" and coming in to hug me with me saying "Thank you" while I'm in a hypnogogic state. This is surprisingly difficult to imagine with all my senses and emotions. Even though I'm not even using taste and smell, just touch sound and sight. The emotional part is difficult too. I've got my work cut out for me.
