07-07-2019, 08:51 PM
Starting to think about the friendship breakup again. Did I really deserve better when I was so bad a friend myself? What happened hurts. There's a lot of pain and a bit of anger in it. Like, I loved her and she just left with this: "Don't put me on a pedestal and cry when I fall down. It's not hard to love until the hard times roll around" and then had refused to ever speak to me again. It hurts so bad to love someone so much and be just thrown away like trash, even though I did a lot to deserve it. So I wonder, did I deserve that? Did I really? Even though I was a bad friend to her, I legitimately DO love her. That's why it's so painful she won't even acknowledge my existence when I beg for forgiveness. It's like, I mean so little to her that she can just do that. And it hurts so bad. I'm running E3 right now to help me through this. Running E3 during moments like this has helped A LOT.
