06-30-2019, 01:32 PM
I am becoming a better person. Not like I have been a bad person by will before, but it wasn't in my nature to be a giving and loving person, that's all. I didn't had it in me. I tried to make people to like me, look up to me, love me, etc. That was just how I though that things was. But I at the same time felt that I was different, like I didn't belong or didn't deserved to be loved for my true self, so I did all those things to make up for that I was "unlovable". Truth is I didn't know who I was, I had problems letting that guy forward and meet others other than being drunk. I feel how I am becoming more authentic, more giving, and less involved in getting others to like me, I know can be myself and still get liked, I am not perfect, but I am me and I'm deserving of love. As a consequence I see relationships with people I am friends with or have been acquainted with before is improving. They are starting to be able to meet me for who I am, and contrary from what I believed, they like that guy. My defences is getting less and less needed as my self-esteem is growing.
