Ok today marks the 3 month point for my LTU journey. I have had some great development towards becoming healthy and overcoming my depression which have been my main need right now. I can't almost remember how I felt 3 months back but I know it was in a totally different place and without even the slightest ability to imagine how I feel today. The progress have really been huge. Some points:
I'm excited to see where I will be in 3 months.
EDIT:
I forgot two things
- I'm less affected when people are angry or can't hold their temper. I don't feel gulity and bad around them, not as much at least.
- I'm more and more interested in things in life, learning about stuff online, inventions, etc.
EDIT 2:
I came across something regarding the reaction to sneezing and how it's connected to our psyche. I then realized that for the past time I have been reluctant to take medicine when I have had a cold or something like that, and just let the body have it's course.
The link which talks more about this
https://www.mirmethod.com/sneezing/
EDIT 3:
I see now how colored I have by guilt. When I took care of my own needs, I felt guilty. I never have felt that it was OK to take care of my own needs. I found other people, as my ex-ex girlfriend and took care of her own needs and tried to make her happy, but it always was something that was lacking - I wasn't happy. And I didn't know why, because I had actually given up on the idea that it was OK to try make myself happy, like I wasn't worth it. Now I see this pattern and make conscious decisions to tell myself that it's OK to make myself happy and tend to my own needs, no matter how the outside react on it (mostly my mother). It's a struggling journey but I know that with time I will get it straight.
- I still have some social anxiety problems but they are WAY less apparent. I went on a trip last weekend and had a good time, something that wouldn't been possible before LTU.
- My mind is more clear and I'm more able at work. I also have much less anxiety and fear at work. My mind is starting to be able to think out solutions for problems and some business ideas.
- I'm much less anxious on a day to day basis, less worried about the future
- My family situation is much calmer, relationships are more smooth
I'm excited to see where I will be in 3 months.
-
Some things I hope on achieving during this time:
- Be able to work full time at work
- Be more comfortable in social settings
- Let go of my ex and move on
- Improve my relationships with my friends further
EDIT:
I forgot two things
- I'm less affected when people are angry or can't hold their temper. I don't feel gulity and bad around them, not as much at least.
- I'm more and more interested in things in life, learning about stuff online, inventions, etc.
EDIT 2:
I came across something regarding the reaction to sneezing and how it's connected to our psyche. I then realized that for the past time I have been reluctant to take medicine when I have had a cold or something like that, and just let the body have it's course.
The link which talks more about this
https://www.mirmethod.com/sneezing/
EDIT 3:
I see now how colored I have by guilt. When I took care of my own needs, I felt guilty. I never have felt that it was OK to take care of my own needs. I found other people, as my ex-ex girlfriend and took care of her own needs and tried to make her happy, but it always was something that was lacking - I wasn't happy. And I didn't know why, because I had actually given up on the idea that it was OK to try make myself happy, like I wasn't worth it. Now I see this pattern and make conscious decisions to tell myself that it's OK to make myself happy and tend to my own needs, no matter how the outside react on it (mostly my mother). It's a struggling journey but I know that with time I will get it straight.
