06-18-2019, 05:42 AM
Day 17:
Been thinking about the friendship breakup again. I feel she could have treated me more compassionately and more fairly and I feel I deserved better. I'm very hurt and also upset I was treated so badly. I understand why she did it, but I still deserved better. I wish we were friends again and I wish I were in HER shoes with somebody like my former self treating me the same way, just so I could handle it better and prove there was a better way I could have been treated. A better way I SHOULD have been treated. I'm deeply hurt and upset about it and I wish she could understand MY side of it all and cared. I wish I weren't alone in my feelings about this. I wish she could walk a mile or more in MY shoes and live a life of MY experiences, so she could know how it feels on MY end. And the fact that she doesn't and might not ever deeply upsets me. I'm willing to walk a mile in her shoes. I wish she could experience MY end of things.
Maybe the worst aspect about it is what's unresolved. A sense that maybe I deserved every bit of the incompassionate cruel way I was treated. That maybe these feelings are wrong. I'm willing to experience what I put her through to find out. I just wish she and I were in constant contact so she could see me go through it and handle it better and learn a lesson. I'm SURE there's a better way it could have all been handled than how it was. And I'm deeply , DEEPLY hurt that she doesn't understand my feelings or see things the way I do. I am willing to walk a mile in her shoes. I wish she'd walk a mile in mine.
Been thinking about the friendship breakup again. I feel she could have treated me more compassionately and more fairly and I feel I deserved better. I'm very hurt and also upset I was treated so badly. I understand why she did it, but I still deserved better. I wish we were friends again and I wish I were in HER shoes with somebody like my former self treating me the same way, just so I could handle it better and prove there was a better way I could have been treated. A better way I SHOULD have been treated. I'm deeply hurt and upset about it and I wish she could understand MY side of it all and cared. I wish I weren't alone in my feelings about this. I wish she could walk a mile or more in MY shoes and live a life of MY experiences, so she could know how it feels on MY end. And the fact that she doesn't and might not ever deeply upsets me. I'm willing to walk a mile in her shoes. I wish she could experience MY end of things.
Maybe the worst aspect about it is what's unresolved. A sense that maybe I deserved every bit of the incompassionate cruel way I was treated. That maybe these feelings are wrong. I'm willing to experience what I put her through to find out. I just wish she and I were in constant contact so she could see me go through it and handle it better and learn a lesson. I'm SURE there's a better way it could have all been handled than how it was. And I'm deeply , DEEPLY hurt that she doesn't understand my feelings or see things the way I do. I am willing to walk a mile in her shoes. I wish she'd walk a mile in mine.
