Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Quick update.

Even with the uptick in intensity of PTSD symptoms everything else is just find. Seems like the rest of the results seem to be permanent as it were. I seem to just no give a crap about what people think as I have said or about women in especially. I did notice something today that should have been obvious during this whole time. When out and about its like I don't even notice people at all. Its like I'm so concentrated on what I need to do or my own thoughts that I don't even notice people when I'm out and about. It seems like for me to notice someone women i'm out and about they either have to be related to what I'm trying to accomplished at that time or there has to be something interesting and very intriguing about them. I could use that women I found myself attracted to like 2 weeks ago as an example. For whatever reason there was something about her that caught my eye that set her apart from everyone else whereas usually I don't even bother paying attention with women these days.

Matter of fact I remember when I was walking the other day and I tried to think of something sexual and it was like my mind automatically turned away from thinking about that and I just said "I have better things to concentrate on". It just seems like concern with caring what others think, especially women is non-existent. I really have no doubt that once the new DMSI comes out that I will have cleared out most things keeping it from working. The US seems to be in full swing as well in this sub. I have no doubts that I will reach my financial goals withing the next few years, highly likely within the first year actually. Only thing is I do feel that I will need to get some new hobbies to keep myself busy as well.

I say this since being financially wealthy is only my first goal and I do have a second goal but that won't probably come to fruition till like probably 5 years from now. Between reaching my financial goal and my secondary goal I see myself being pretty bored. So, probably best to have several things I could be doing between then. I guess I could focus more on a relationship then even more to keep myself busy along with reaching higher financial goals in the mean time. As for anything else to report not much. Seems to be the same old same old. Changes seem to remain consistent and I'm not surprised given that I'm approaching the 120 day mark of running this sub. I had read that new studies show that now it takes 66 days in order to form a habit and at this point I'm at close to double that. So I would expect the results I've gained so far to be permanent due to that fact.

As for my other plans I really can't wait to leave this country. I feel like I will just like it much better somewhere else though at this point It doesn't even matter as much where I'm at since I'm more ground in my identity now. I can be anyway where and still be grounded, and peaceful at this point. Now with that said still doesn't mean if I have a choice of being somewhere better I won't take it obviously. I do admit despite everything some part of my Intuition keeps telling me go to China instead of Korea. It bothers me more than now since I accept both the logical and emotional side of myself. So, I am more trusting of my intuitions now than I used to be. Though, I do wonder if it has to be "now" or maybe eventually make my way to China after I get my debts taken care of. I guess time will tell.