06-05-2019, 12:51 PM
I usually have a moment for myself in the car after working out, finding a nice spot and listening to music. It's the time that I best can relax. I always carry an uneasy feeling inside, like an inability to relax, it's always something back there whirring in the background that's in way of my ability to sink down and relax. A probable cause of PTSD I guess.
Anyway, today in my relaxation time I felt I relaxed more than I usually do. I sinked down further into relaxation. Still not fully, but more than usual. And afterwards I felt more present, like "I am here again". That's how it feels during the day, like I am not really there, like I am behind some half transparent curtain of consciousness and awareness, not being able to be fully present because of the trauma(s) that's not yet overcome, but holding me back from reality.
Progress is good.
Anyway, today in my relaxation time I felt I relaxed more than I usually do. I sinked down further into relaxation. Still not fully, but more than usual. And afterwards I felt more present, like "I am here again". That's how it feels during the day, like I am not really there, like I am behind some half transparent curtain of consciousness and awareness, not being able to be fully present because of the trauma(s) that's not yet overcome, but holding me back from reality.
Progress is good.
