Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

@EvolvingPhoenix It is no problem. I'm just here to continue to grow, share my experiences, and hopefully if anyone wants any advice I can help them as well. Either way, I was not angry with you at all the entire time. Was just trying to get you to understand my points as I might have not fully explained them and given the wrong impression.

Anyway, still having progress. Eh, I have come to the conclusion that the past is useless to me at this point. I should clarify though that unless something in the past has utility for me in the present or the future it is meaningless to me now. Too much of people's pasts has a temptation to given in. To give away control of yourself and for what? To be a slave to anger? hate?rage?depression? All of those things are unproductive and ultimately make your present and future just a repeat of the past. Hmmm funny, being a slave to the past makes your present and future void because the present and future becomes your past. You become a slave to the past and so you continue to repeat the past.

My mind is continuing to work in over drive with revelations like these. Things I realize about myself but new insights all the time about how I should perceive the world around me. It must take some energy because I am continuing to sleep most of the day. I assume when I have reached a certain level that I won't be as sleepy anymore. I am also realizing I just don't have much interest in relationships anymore. I think this is due to me not being needy but more importantly not being a slave to my sex drive anymore.

After finally having my mind freed and getting my identity from myself I realize there are two major ways we enslave ourselves. One way is that we get our identity (self worth, value, validation,etc) from something external from ourselves. By doing this we not only give up control to that external thing (or person) but we take on the limitations it imposes on us. Also, whoever controls that external thing that gives us our identity controls us.

The other thing that we are most likely to enslave ourselves to is something that is often promoted as "Freedom" or "liberating" in most western countries. This is the idea of enslaving ourselves to our own impulses or desires. As if doing whatever we want whenever we "felt" like it were freedom. I could go over some more quite obvious ones like : Is a alcoholic who drinks alcohol every-time he has the "impulse" to do it free? Is an obese person who gives into the impulse to eat all the time free? Hmm lets go with one that is more relevant to perhaps people on this board: Is someone who runs away from something he needs to do or to develop himself because he had the slight impulse "fear" about it free? I think we know the answer to this.

I'm starting to realize that in order for you to really be free you need to (1) get your identity from yourself, and (2) have self control/discipline. For that last part, following every instinct, impulse, or desire that pops into your mind isn't freedom, its slavery. Funny enough, those that are the most free in that regard are those that have self control and self discipline. So in this case most of society has it wrong. It is funny in someways. They think they are pursuing freedom when they are really pursuing their own enslavement. It is quite curious how at times we pursue things to get one result and end up getting the complete opposite. Anyway, I just felt like I would share that since that is one of the revelations i got over the last few days and it was really eye opening.

I think I only got that one because I was able to do those two things to ensure my mind is pretty much free at this point. It does feel different as well not be as much of a slave to anything.Whether that thing be fear, your own sex drive, or some external thing to give yourself an identity. Anyway, that is about all. I hope this post helps out someone.