05-20-2019, 07:53 AM
seeing Shannon's grief over the loss of his uncle has made me realize something about myself:
If it were one of my uncles, I would not be grieving. It makes me realize how on one hand, I am protected from things like that by a sense of separation, but on the other, I do not get to know the love and closeness of having a more open heart to people in my non-immediate family. I now feel bad about how a couple of my cousins tried to get to know me better once and I ignored them. I am too caught up in myself. It protects me one one hand, but rob's me of close relationships on the other. It may be a natural consequence of two things: autism and my growing up lonely and basically focusing on my own inner world because I had no friends as a kid.
It's just a realization brought on by Shannon's latest misfortune, for which he has my deepest condolences.
If it were one of my uncles, I would not be grieving. It makes me realize how on one hand, I am protected from things like that by a sense of separation, but on the other, I do not get to know the love and closeness of having a more open heart to people in my non-immediate family. I now feel bad about how a couple of my cousins tried to get to know me better once and I ignored them. I am too caught up in myself. It protects me one one hand, but rob's me of close relationships on the other. It may be a natural consequence of two things: autism and my growing up lonely and basically focusing on my own inner world because I had no friends as a kid.
It's just a realization brought on by Shannon's latest misfortune, for which he has my deepest condolences.
