04-02-2019, 06:47 AM
Day 8 running LTU. I didn't take a full break, but run the sub just 2 loops for 1 day. I generally look forward running the sub, like I look forward for the nights to listen to it, it feels like I know deep down it's really good for me.
Things are steadily becoming better. I am less affected by other people and my mood is better. I work 1 or 2 times a week, due to still having a bit problem with my energy levels, but it's becoming better. I feel less fear for the work and have an easier time focusing on doing and learning which is my focus now. I look up to my bosses, they are great guys with a ton of knowledge in my field and I aspire to learn as much as I can from them. One of them is a really funny guy, so that's nice. I think that I will enjoy being at this workplace more and more as I heal. I feel a desire to really learn the field I am working in and master it, more than I have felt before.
I feel more grounded, more present in the now. Less anxious. I have experienced 2 days with higher levels of anxiety, can't really pinpoint a reason so I guess it's just something I'm passing through while going through the healing that LTU is motivating me to do. Had one really scary dream where I was captured in a Russian prisoners camp, it was extremely realistic and i really felt the horror of it. Wonder if it's a representation of something in my subconscious or a residue from my grand parents being in a nazi camp.
I'm noticing thought patterns that stem from a place of self-esteem and when I do i realize this and think that "this thought isn't necessarily true" and that I will overcome it by time.
Things are steadily becoming better. I am less affected by other people and my mood is better. I work 1 or 2 times a week, due to still having a bit problem with my energy levels, but it's becoming better. I feel less fear for the work and have an easier time focusing on doing and learning which is my focus now. I look up to my bosses, they are great guys with a ton of knowledge in my field and I aspire to learn as much as I can from them. One of them is a really funny guy, so that's nice. I think that I will enjoy being at this workplace more and more as I heal. I feel a desire to really learn the field I am working in and master it, more than I have felt before.
I feel more grounded, more present in the now. Less anxious. I have experienced 2 days with higher levels of anxiety, can't really pinpoint a reason so I guess it's just something I'm passing through while going through the healing that LTU is motivating me to do. Had one really scary dream where I was captured in a Russian prisoners camp, it was extremely realistic and i really felt the horror of it. Wonder if it's a representation of something in my subconscious or a residue from my grand parents being in a nazi camp.
I'm noticing thought patterns that stem from a place of self-esteem and when I do i realize this and think that "this thought isn't necessarily true" and that I will overcome it by time.
