Day 37: I'm facing what could be considered as hard times. It's not really hard times because I'm loving it, I'm happy that I'm feeling like crap lately, hahaha. I can understand that, if I had a lower consciousness level, I could be fucked up and living a part time nightmare.
My deepest and oldest insecurities are coming to my awareness. This time it's not just bad feelings of low self esteem... now I can trace the origins of them, the times when they built up, the people involved and the way I tried to cover up these feelings on my past. Until now, I've never had this level of clarity about these issues... As I said, before I could only feel I was suffering them from time to time, and that was all. It's almost as if I automatically related with the feelings by running away, without wanting to know what they had to share with me.
I guess it's time to make peace with all these parts of me.
PS: It's not all negative though, I seem to behave a lot more like a leader, and with a bigger sense of ease and authenticity (also the opposite some times, but with more clarity from my side and without affecting me much)... I'm more proactive, I go for what I want. I felt my reality is switching, what I thought to be unbelievable is happening before I got time to realize it became very believable, women related, in great way
My deepest and oldest insecurities are coming to my awareness. This time it's not just bad feelings of low self esteem... now I can trace the origins of them, the times when they built up, the people involved and the way I tried to cover up these feelings on my past. Until now, I've never had this level of clarity about these issues... As I said, before I could only feel I was suffering them from time to time, and that was all. It's almost as if I automatically related with the feelings by running away, without wanting to know what they had to share with me.
I guess it's time to make peace with all these parts of me.
PS: It's not all negative though, I seem to behave a lot more like a leader, and with a bigger sense of ease and authenticity (also the opposite some times, but with more clarity from my side and without affecting me much)... I'm more proactive, I go for what I want. I felt my reality is switching, what I thought to be unbelievable is happening before I got time to realize it became very believable, women related, in great way
UMS
