12-16-2018, 04:30 PM
Thought I would give my thoughts on 3.3 so far since I haven't written anything yet.
I've only noticed mostly internal changes at the moment really. I'm a lot more calmer and I'm quite dissatisfied with just staying in the house at the moment. Though i've done so because of another thing I have noticed: My motivation to finish my courses has come back and I want to get out of here ASAP. The good-news is that I should be graduating some time early next month hopefully. I know why this is. I think the sub is really trying to push me to be somewhere else where I would find the women more to my liking. I have to admit ever since I got back from the Philippines I haven't really been all that concerned with women in the US really. Its like I'm just not that interested.
I felt like relationships were so much more easier and less complicated in Asia. Therefore my interest in a American women has gone down considerably. So it does seem like I'm really being pushed to move out of the states when I can. Only thing that might keep me here for a about 2 months or so staying here to pay off a bit of debt I got from my last trip. I have also decided if possible I might secure a job in Korea, put my stuff in storage, then take another month long trip to the Philippines then go to my job from Korea right from there.
On the few times I have been out I have had this feeling that I am executing but it seems to be on a low end scale since I'm just not as interested in most of the women in my area. I have noticed that women in general seem to be a lot nicer to me and try to make conversation though. One other internal thing did happen on the first night I listen to the sub after my first 2 day break. I was laying in bed and the first thought that occurred to me really was this idea that most of what people around me in earlier years taught me was incorrect or just plain lies. It was like once I accepted that I started to feel this constant build up of sexual energy and it just kept on building up for several hours while I listened to the sub. It felt like something was having some kind of break-thru. Still didn't notice as much when i went out that day though.
Lastly there is one thing that really surprised me which means something must be changing. My mother had tried another way to try to control me. She tried to make me go outside to her van to get something for her that she herself had forgot there. I had nothing to do with it so i didn't see why I had to go out and get something she forgot. I just ignored her for most of the day when she tried to get me to do this shit. Later that night she actually did something that shocked me. She actually "apologized" for trying to make me go out their to fetch her bag for her. Many of you who have read my descriptions of her would know she "never, ever" apologizes or takes responsibility for something. I can't even remember a time when she had done this. Then later today she tried to act nice and kind for some reason.
Don't know what that was all about but I guess something must be changing that I'm not aware of yet. Anyway, that's about all that has been happening. In general more people acting nice to me and some internal changes but not much of anything else. I have the feeling I am having dreams while I sleep but I don't remember anything when I wake up like in previous versions. I will try to update again soon.
I've only noticed mostly internal changes at the moment really. I'm a lot more calmer and I'm quite dissatisfied with just staying in the house at the moment. Though i've done so because of another thing I have noticed: My motivation to finish my courses has come back and I want to get out of here ASAP. The good-news is that I should be graduating some time early next month hopefully. I know why this is. I think the sub is really trying to push me to be somewhere else where I would find the women more to my liking. I have to admit ever since I got back from the Philippines I haven't really been all that concerned with women in the US really. Its like I'm just not that interested.
I felt like relationships were so much more easier and less complicated in Asia. Therefore my interest in a American women has gone down considerably. So it does seem like I'm really being pushed to move out of the states when I can. Only thing that might keep me here for a about 2 months or so staying here to pay off a bit of debt I got from my last trip. I have also decided if possible I might secure a job in Korea, put my stuff in storage, then take another month long trip to the Philippines then go to my job from Korea right from there.
On the few times I have been out I have had this feeling that I am executing but it seems to be on a low end scale since I'm just not as interested in most of the women in my area. I have noticed that women in general seem to be a lot nicer to me and try to make conversation though. One other internal thing did happen on the first night I listen to the sub after my first 2 day break. I was laying in bed and the first thought that occurred to me really was this idea that most of what people around me in earlier years taught me was incorrect or just plain lies. It was like once I accepted that I started to feel this constant build up of sexual energy and it just kept on building up for several hours while I listened to the sub. It felt like something was having some kind of break-thru. Still didn't notice as much when i went out that day though.
Lastly there is one thing that really surprised me which means something must be changing. My mother had tried another way to try to control me. She tried to make me go outside to her van to get something for her that she herself had forgot there. I had nothing to do with it so i didn't see why I had to go out and get something she forgot. I just ignored her for most of the day when she tried to get me to do this shit. Later that night she actually did something that shocked me. She actually "apologized" for trying to make me go out their to fetch her bag for her. Many of you who have read my descriptions of her would know she "never, ever" apologizes or takes responsibility for something. I can't even remember a time when she had done this. Then later today she tried to act nice and kind for some reason.
Don't know what that was all about but I guess something must be changing that I'm not aware of yet. Anyway, that's about all that has been happening. In general more people acting nice to me and some internal changes but not much of anything else. I have the feeling I am having dreams while I sleep but I don't remember anything when I wake up like in previous versions. I will try to update again soon.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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