12-11-2018, 03:27 PM
I went circles with this trader again this afternoon. He's trying to extort money from me, and I called him a mafia landlord in my last blast of messages. I even took a picture of the definition of extortion and pasted it to him.
I walked a good bit an hour ago, and something felt familiar to me. Why was I so bothered? I remembered a wise question, and it's "where can you gain from this?" I was still angry and uncomfortable, yet I knew something was valuable in this. It sounds gawd-awfully cheesy........but I just knew something lay underfoot here. I've seen more and more of deeper roots in emotional battles myself.
I came home and began writing. Immediately, I saw it. I see it. I was pasting my own brother's personna (he is Difficult) onto this guy, and I've been picking through the BS, "knowing" I'd find some goodness--meaning some reason for "him to love me". Payment would be "proof", or evidence of this (childhood thinking)
****. I'm seeking my brother's love via some snake trying to fill his own wants. My brother only fights me.....too.
I'm up for LTU. If E3 were on sale, I'd pick it up tonight, maybe even run it.
GRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..................****!
I walked a good bit an hour ago, and something felt familiar to me. Why was I so bothered? I remembered a wise question, and it's "where can you gain from this?" I was still angry and uncomfortable, yet I knew something was valuable in this. It sounds gawd-awfully cheesy........but I just knew something lay underfoot here. I've seen more and more of deeper roots in emotional battles myself.
I came home and began writing. Immediately, I saw it. I see it. I was pasting my own brother's personna (he is Difficult) onto this guy, and I've been picking through the BS, "knowing" I'd find some goodness--meaning some reason for "him to love me". Payment would be "proof", or evidence of this (childhood thinking)
****. I'm seeking my brother's love via some snake trying to fill his own wants. My brother only fights me.....too.
I'm up for LTU. If E3 were on sale, I'd pick it up tonight, maybe even run it.
GRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..................****!
I want to be FREE!
