11-24-2018, 04:33 PM
@Shannon I think I might have discovered a few pieces of the puzzle though I'm trying to make sense of it all and maybe you can hopefully. Hopefully this doesn't take up too much of your time but I have the feeling this maybe important to the development of FRM possibly. So, after I woke like an hour ago I kind of got frustrated with my lack of progress with my work. So, I tried to gather whatever feeling of motivation I could to finally get it done. The first 2 times right as I tried to feel motivated it was like something right away started eating at the feeling. It was like it was rapidly being dissipated. I tried a third time which was the strongest I tried to concentrate on it then the dissipation started happening but something else also happened. I started having shortness of breathe and my heart started to beat rapidly.
In the middle of this my mind started to feel numb for a bit then an intuition jumped out at me. It was this idea that something was messing with either my short or long term memory. That's when something else was revealed to me: The dream had last night seemed to deal exactly with this topic. For background info I had noticed at the begin since you introduced FRM my dreams have been a lot more clearer, make more sense, and I am usually able to remember them at least for a few hours after waking up. I have noticed though since about a week to 2 weeks ago I would get only the hazy feeling that I was dreaming but remember nothing.
Either way the Dream was that I was going to the movies in a mall with my older brother and my niece. I gave my ticket to my niece and told them to wait for me at the entrance to theater while I'm at one of the entrance stores to get some snacks. I wondered through this store with an "feeling" of what I wanted but no concrete idea. So I wondered through the aisles until I got what I wanted, had some help ring me up though he was having a problem after first ringing it up. I then tried to walk to find another opening in the store leading to further into the mall and to the theater but every time I took a few steps it was like I totally forgot everything. I would have to stop and think why I was there, and where I was going. Everytime this would happen I would still have this feeling that I had to go north (where the theater is) but then I would have to think why I was heading that way then I would remember only to forget when I walked a few steps.
It was like I was just walking from one side of the store to the other with no way of getting to my goal because I would quickly forget about it and then have to remember why I was there in the first place. I don't think this is a coincidence that I remembered this dream right when I felt like something was messing with my short or long term memory. Mind you, I have no idea if this is related to me being emotionally numbed this entire time or if this is a new tactic. Just thought I should report all this while I still remember it clearly. It seemed important for some reason. Anyway, maybe you can make more sense of this than I can.
In the middle of this my mind started to feel numb for a bit then an intuition jumped out at me. It was this idea that something was messing with either my short or long term memory. That's when something else was revealed to me: The dream had last night seemed to deal exactly with this topic. For background info I had noticed at the begin since you introduced FRM my dreams have been a lot more clearer, make more sense, and I am usually able to remember them at least for a few hours after waking up. I have noticed though since about a week to 2 weeks ago I would get only the hazy feeling that I was dreaming but remember nothing.
Either way the Dream was that I was going to the movies in a mall with my older brother and my niece. I gave my ticket to my niece and told them to wait for me at the entrance to theater while I'm at one of the entrance stores to get some snacks. I wondered through this store with an "feeling" of what I wanted but no concrete idea. So I wondered through the aisles until I got what I wanted, had some help ring me up though he was having a problem after first ringing it up. I then tried to walk to find another opening in the store leading to further into the mall and to the theater but every time I took a few steps it was like I totally forgot everything. I would have to stop and think why I was there, and where I was going. Everytime this would happen I would still have this feeling that I had to go north (where the theater is) but then I would have to think why I was heading that way then I would remember only to forget when I walked a few steps.
It was like I was just walking from one side of the store to the other with no way of getting to my goal because I would quickly forget about it and then have to remember why I was there in the first place. I don't think this is a coincidence that I remembered this dream right when I felt like something was messing with my short or long term memory. Mind you, I have no idea if this is related to me being emotionally numbed this entire time or if this is a new tactic. Just thought I should report all this while I still remember it clearly. It seemed important for some reason. Anyway, maybe you can make more sense of this than I can.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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