Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[Shannon]

Time for an update:

Finally just now sent in my presentation for grading. So that is finally done and now I can move onto some other classes. I will probably go to some ones that have only a final test instead of a writing portion at the moment. With that I should be back to my regular pace of like 5-8 classes a week. I should be graduating in 2-3 weeks then. I did get a little bit of luck recently. Found out I should be getting 3k USD from the university sometime this week. That is actually good news because that means I will have a little bit so that I can potentially even graduate sometime in December instead. I won't do that though. Going to try to graduate in November then I can use that money to pay off some debts I owe (used my mastercard while I was in the Philippines to pay for a few things) and setup my storage unit so I can start storing my car and a few other things so I can leave right away.

I had thought about just waiting a bit so I could teach at a public School and be stationed in a more rural area. For teaching at a rural area you get paid an extra 100USD and if you teach at multiple schools in an rural area you get an extra 100USD. Only thing is I would have to wait til March 1st to start. Honestly, I'm not sure if it is worth it to wait additional months for an extra 200USD when I could leave within like 2 weeks for an after school institution. I'm still thinking about it but I'm leaning more towards just leaving right away and teaching in the second biggest city of Busan. Besides, public school would be the usual 9-5 crap. I'm not really a morning person so I will go with the after school thing of like 4-9pm.

As for my other options I've narrowed them down. Its either going for a Masters in ESL so I can teach at the university level (only 14-20 hours of work a week with really good pay) or go for accounting on a cruise ship or accounting online (remotely). I would have kept IT as an option on a cruise ship but there is one thing that annoys me about that option: Continuing education credits for certification. For the IT degree I would have multiple certs and have to have continue education to keep those multiple certs along with paying a fee for renewal. For accounting you only have the CPA license and one fee associated with that. So, I think I will stick with accounting as my second option. Not to mention that I don't necessarily have to go on a cruise ship. Remote accountants get paid a good 73K per year which is a lot when you consider you can live in the Philippines on 1kUSD per month.

I will see what I pick though I'm leaning towards accounting right now. If that were the case will definitely run LTU since I don't find accounting hard per say but boring and time consuming. Also, I just don't like dealing with people's *****. I would prefer a job like accounting where your just dealing with numbers. The good news regarding that is I found out the US territory of Guam has lax requirements for getting CPA certified and its right next to the Philippines. I would just need 1 year of experience to sit for the exam.

Now on to something more sub related. I think I might have had something happen that proves my theory about the resistance "numbing" my emotions as it were. The reason I started finally finishing the last part of my presentation is because I was playing a team center video game where we lost. I got angry and something in my mind went, "I'm tired of doing things that has me relying on other people to get stuff accomplished, I should do something else" then I thought about actually finishing my presentation which only relies on me to get it done. I think this proved that I'm the sort of person who needs some type of emotion to motivate some kind of action as up to this point I was being very lazy about the whole thing. Its like I got angry then the part of me executing the sub latched on to that emotion and turned it into motivation.

The unfortunate part that I realize right now is its mostly when I get angry that this need to better my situation comes out. I noticed that with my last job as well. Being constantly mistreated by higher ups was the main emotion that kept motivating me to get through a lot of courses. The thing is I don't want to keep relying on anger to motivate me to improve my life or get stuff done. It seems very reactionary in my opinion. It makes it clearer now though why the part resisting has made me more flat emotionally. If I get a sort of emotion = I now have the fuel and motivation to act on the instructions. @Shannon I did want to ask you if there is something that can be done about this? You've said you'll close the particular loop hole to keep the subconscious from artificially downgrading emotions but is there something that can be done in the opposite as well? Something to maybe open yourself to more "positive" emotions to motivate you? Hope? Love? etc. As of right now just seems like mostly anger and extreme dissatisfaction that motivates me to move my life forward or even to execute the subs instructions.

Anyway, that is all for now. Hopefully I can keep this up and get out of here soon.

I am working on it. Right now, spending time working on other things directly, but working out how to approach and deal with these issues you bring up. Right now, I haven't figured out the "how" yet.