A Sexy Alex, stage 2: DMSI Journal (now 3.3.2!)

[apollolux]

I feel the need to put a few updates here that I neglected to summarize at the end of the last set/beginning of this one. I've been hesitant to mention them here because I felt they aren't relevant to DMSI-related belief changes, at least directly, but I feel they have the potential to signify an upward trend in my life in general from previously.

* My college finally contacted me saying my diploma was ready to be picked up and I went and got it. The website had said to expect about a four month wait from the last day of my graduating semester, so this was more or less on that schedule. The point of this item is that I finally have the physical thing in my hand that symbolizes, among other things, that I achieved a goal I set and that I still have within me the ability to finish a thing I started.

* I finally got a job offer from one of my applications. Took a while and it seems I won't get my first paycheck until the end of November, but it's a thing. It starts Monday. Even though this is a positive thing, in my mind I'm still hung up on the job search process bearing fruit a month later than I had originally anticipated and am more concerned about the logistics of "staying afloat" until that first paycheck.

* My living situation was in flux for a while and for the moment it's not. I'm leaving the details out for now until I can confirm how the logistics of November turn out.

* Due to a technical snafu, I had lost my health insurance for the month of September. I was fortunate enough to catch it soon enough that I would get it back at the beginning of October after doing the application online. I was unable to get my prescriptions refilled during that time, however, and experienced a right proper "serotonin withdrawal"-induced migraine in that period. Even now I still feel a dull roar of headaches.

Overall, I feel I'm slowly regaining the ability to feel positively about things even though I'm also feeling more undirected anger. On top of that, I think the H+C of 3.2A may be bringing up residual anger about old issues, a focus which I feel could be put to better use than dealing with anger about old issues about old expectations. If this keeps up then I'll almost certainly switch back to B at the end of this cycle.