Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

@K-Train Thanks, though in the end it weirdly didn't affect me as much as I thought it was. It seemed like I just thought I could do better and then pretty much moved on with my life. I went to work the next day and was surprised that I didn't even really think about it and it didn't even affect me as much as I thought it was. My mindset seemed to be that I will just find a better looking girl who has a even better personality overall.

Either way thought I would type out something weird that happened early yesterday evening. I'm pretty sure it was TID but I don't know what prompted this reaction. For whatever reason I was playing a game and then I thought of succeeding with finally get the paper for my current course done. Mind you it simply was beyond getting that paper done, I knew if I get this done I would be able to get my current courses done then be out of the country in no time teaching English in a country with probably an better overall culture and women to my liking. All of a sudden I get this sudden, overwhelming feeling of fear. I mean I was deathly afraid and this lasted for hours. I ended up binge playing video games instead of working on my paper to calm myself down though in the end that didn't even work.

Over time it turned to a mixture of anger and fear. I actually ended up watching some porn right before bed which produced a negative reaction. I didn't feel good afterwards, I actually felt sick to my stomach. I pretty much didn't return to normal until I woke up this morning. Just thought I would report that since it was so out of the ordinary. I do wonder if that last part might have been a TID response to not executing the no porn rule.