08-30-2018, 03:35 AM
(08-30-2018, 03:10 AM)Infinite Wrote: What keeps me here are responsibilities that I can't just walk away from. The relationship has been confusing, even to me. I lived my life rushing from one thing to the next, never really thinking about things. Just trying to make the best out of everything by moving forward. It was as if I was able to slow down and see things more clearly when I began to play the subs. I now remember the things he does and I understand it better. Like the latest thing he did, he kept us from going to a social event because he didn;t want me to socialize. I saw it clearly on is face. He caused a lot of hurt. He made the choice to make a bad business move as an excuse to get out of the social event. He then used that as an excuse to create drama and stress, I refused to get sucked into it and I put him in his place to keep him from further degrading the quality of our lives. He hasn't done anything to complete the business transaction, so I'm reminded every day of what he did, and it really hurts. Before the subs, I wouldn't have been able to see all that, and I wouldn't have been able to "manage" so like I have.
Jealousy/Fear that you'll find someone else?
The fear probably magnified once you started using subs
I am that I am, I will be what I will be.
I am grateful for all that I have. I am humble as I revel in the wonders of power
