07-29-2018, 07:54 AM
Well, as the new titlte suggest seems I'm starting to get those TID experiences again. Been off 3.2 for a while now after still not seeing anything new and the announcement of what the game plan was as far as the subs that will be produced in the coming weeks. Originally I stopped because I wanted to run US/LM but that's won't be coming out for a while so I will just wait for 3.3. Either way I have noticed some weird things happen over the past few days.
Just like with before 3.2 I did have another incident of me having this surge of confidence that 3.3 will work even more for me (Hopefully with both foreign and local women) then soon after I got this fear response again. That I am familiar with but there was another thing that happened that hasn't happened with any other TID experience or any other version of the sub. I remember being in a room one time and then all of a sudden I got this weird feeling then I literally asked in my head "Who am I?". I started to get a "little" bit of a panicking feeling afterwards for some reason. I've had some experiences before but never a questioning of identity level type experience. I'm probably supposing that this is due to those mentioned "Deep Magic" modules that Shannon had mentioned.
After that there was another staple of running attraction subs that seems to happen to a lot of people on here. I started running into a lot of people from my past. This has mainly been at my job. One of them being a guy who joined the army and I had known since Junior High. The most interesting though was a chick I had written in this journal when I was running 3.1. She was the Latin chick who was interested at first but after a acquaintance of mine spread word over it she just lost any interest. I stupidly kind of kept chasing for a bit afterwards though and basically got used somewhat. I actually saw her yesterday and the thing was I acted differently than I thought I would. Before with a woman like that It would take a while to get over what happened and if I saw her I would be incredibly sad. Probably due to my perceived failure. I would usually still find her attractive as well.
Well, this was not the case. I was working box office that morning and she tried to wave from the line and I didn't feel sadness. I felt anger at first and annoyance for what she had put me through. Unfortunately, I ended up serving her instead of my co-work I just gave practically one word responses and I think she noticed and tried being even more warm for some odd reason. I noticed she was with some tall, skinny guy as well that she paid for. I think the very old me might have been a bit jealous but interestingly I didn't care. During this time I did want her to go away but the initial anger reaction was gone. I noticed it was happiness that I didn't end up with such a woman and I actually felt pity for the guy because I know how that woman is now. He might think because shes into anime and video games that she much different than the average woman but her character is quite frankly shit.
Never thought I would actually react this way to someone who caused me past hurt. Its actually a very welcome change. It means, at least to me, that I do care about having a baseline amount of attraction to a woman but if her character is shit then that attraction is automatically killed. I noticed this when thinking back on that interaction. I had no attraction at all to her anymore and wondered why I even liked her to begin with when I really looked at her.
Last, it seems another opportunity has turned up that will make my plans to go to the Philippines go even more smoothly. Turns out that a teaching English online job has presented itself which would enable me to make up to 4000USD a month online. With that it would pay more than a regular English job and allow me to live quite well over there. It would also allow me to more properly fund my business idea so I would not have to work in like 2-4 years.
Either way, I've just been noticing all these strange occurrences at the moment and thought I should report them. That's all for now.
Just like with before 3.2 I did have another incident of me having this surge of confidence that 3.3 will work even more for me (Hopefully with both foreign and local women) then soon after I got this fear response again. That I am familiar with but there was another thing that happened that hasn't happened with any other TID experience or any other version of the sub. I remember being in a room one time and then all of a sudden I got this weird feeling then I literally asked in my head "Who am I?". I started to get a "little" bit of a panicking feeling afterwards for some reason. I've had some experiences before but never a questioning of identity level type experience. I'm probably supposing that this is due to those mentioned "Deep Magic" modules that Shannon had mentioned.
After that there was another staple of running attraction subs that seems to happen to a lot of people on here. I started running into a lot of people from my past. This has mainly been at my job. One of them being a guy who joined the army and I had known since Junior High. The most interesting though was a chick I had written in this journal when I was running 3.1. She was the Latin chick who was interested at first but after a acquaintance of mine spread word over it she just lost any interest. I stupidly kind of kept chasing for a bit afterwards though and basically got used somewhat. I actually saw her yesterday and the thing was I acted differently than I thought I would. Before with a woman like that It would take a while to get over what happened and if I saw her I would be incredibly sad. Probably due to my perceived failure. I would usually still find her attractive as well.
Well, this was not the case. I was working box office that morning and she tried to wave from the line and I didn't feel sadness. I felt anger at first and annoyance for what she had put me through. Unfortunately, I ended up serving her instead of my co-work I just gave practically one word responses and I think she noticed and tried being even more warm for some odd reason. I noticed she was with some tall, skinny guy as well that she paid for. I think the very old me might have been a bit jealous but interestingly I didn't care. During this time I did want her to go away but the initial anger reaction was gone. I noticed it was happiness that I didn't end up with such a woman and I actually felt pity for the guy because I know how that woman is now. He might think because shes into anime and video games that she much different than the average woman but her character is quite frankly shit.
Never thought I would actually react this way to someone who caused me past hurt. Its actually a very welcome change. It means, at least to me, that I do care about having a baseline amount of attraction to a woman but if her character is shit then that attraction is automatically killed. I noticed this when thinking back on that interaction. I had no attraction at all to her anymore and wondered why I even liked her to begin with when I really looked at her.
Last, it seems another opportunity has turned up that will make my plans to go to the Philippines go even more smoothly. Turns out that a teaching English online job has presented itself which would enable me to make up to 4000USD a month online. With that it would pay more than a regular English job and allow me to live quite well over there. It would also allow me to more properly fund my business idea so I would not have to work in like 2-4 years.
Either way, I've just been noticing all these strange occurrences at the moment and thought I should report them. That's all for now.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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