A Sexy Alex, stage 2: DMSI Journal (now 3.3.2!)

[apollolux]

Hm. My mother told me that my grandmother passed away this morning. For the most part, I feel that my emotions, strong or otherwise, seem to be blocked. The main reason I can think of for that is that ever since I was a kid I didn't know how to deal with death, likely because almost every time my mom dragged us to to a funeral it was for someone I didn't know and honestly didn't care about, and when I finally started going to funerals of people I actually knew I didn't know how to feel or react or grieve.

Right now it feels like if I became sad that it would feel forced rather than natural. My current emotional state seems to be "flat" right now, with a side of "confused."