07-03-2018, 05:35 AM
Well, quick update.
Ending up ending things with my girlfriend. Funny enough, I'm not really shaken up about it. I don't know, with the new business idea and the potential for my future I'm just so happy with those possibilities that its not easy to dampen my mood. Also, even though my girlfriend was sexually open there was still the fact that she said if we ever got married she would want to stop things like having threesomes, etc. I would like to add as well this time it wasn't even close to me pushing her away. It was pretty much in her court this time. I should add that we close to like a week ago because I was getting fed up with something but I simply laid down my boundaries and my expectations. With that I told her if she didn't respect them then I'm out of this relationship.
The main contention is that I noticed that when she didn't get what she wanted she would act like a brat. She would sometimes say things meant to hurt me, get all carried away with her emotions and then end the conversation for the day. Seems very woman like in behavior a lot of the time but especially if your a 19 year old female. Anyway, I really got tired of this because even though she would apologize for her behavior the next day this ended up becoming a weekly occurrence. So I laid down my rules and she seemed to control herself for a while but one week later it practically happens again except this time she uses the threat of breaking up to try and get what she wants.
In case you guys are wondering the main thing that kept on leading to these fights (more was like her getting worked up and me getting annoyed but trying to remain calm) was her wanting me to give her a baby. I kept on telling her that it wouldn't be the best time right now given how long it would be for me to move over their permanently (about a year or 2 after I finish my degree). I would actually want to be there during the first 2 years of my child's life not somewhere far away but she just kept on bringing it up weekly. To the point she even said that despite all that even if I weren't there the first couple of years she would still want the child. I'm starting to think if maybe she just wanted this child so badly , not only cause she loved me but also because she lost her first child in a miscarriage. Either way I wasn't agreeing to this at the moment , even though I told her I might contemplate it more given my financial idea would guarantee they would be taken care of.
Anyway, the bratty attitude came out and she used the whole "Why don't we just break up then since you care more about your plans than my happiness" which I think obviously was a veiled threat to make me give in. It had the opposite effect as you can imagine. I said my peace and then blocked her on Viber and most other things except I forgot about Facebook. She was able to contact me there where it lasted a bit longer but it was more of the trying to shame me or make me feel guilty for not giving into her thing. After that I said my peace and just deleted/blocked her on there as well. I had told her I might contact her in a week so we can just remain friends but I'm seriously rethinking that. That all happened minutes ago.
Like I said, I'm not really all broken up about it as I thought. It does open new opportunities for me to have more variety in how I achieve my business venture. As it is now, after I finish my degree I can either (1) keep working here while investing in it, (2) Teach English in South Korea and SEA in general while investing in it, or (3) If DMSI final works like its suppose to do my original idea of getting into acting by becoming a sex symbol as it where with the help of DMSI, and make even more contributions towards my business venture. Also, I guess I just see it as for the best that this happened since I couldn't imagine being married to somewhat who acts all bratty when they don't get their way. I don't get the idea in having that attitude especially in a country like the Philippines where the guy can just up and leave with no financial repercussions like if he were married in the states. Seems really short term thinking in my opinion (or no thinking at all).
Either way, I'm not really sad at all really. I have so much stuff to look forward to in the coming years that this just seems like a bump in the road. I will admit it might be because I've gotten better at cutting people out of my life over the years that I know weren't good for me and can do it on a seconds notice. Granted before there usually at least use to be some kind of pain for a couple of days but now none whatsoever. I think that might be because 3.2 cleared up some past traumas I might have had. Its like, well its over with and no point in being sad or unhappy. Some things just don't end well and you might as well just move on with your life. I think as it was said in gone with the wind, "When one door closes, another one opens". I feel like that might be how I see things at the moment and there's a new found kind of optimism in me now for when things go wrong.
Anyway, that's all for now. I have too many potential opportunities in the future to be unhappy at the moment.
Ending up ending things with my girlfriend. Funny enough, I'm not really shaken up about it. I don't know, with the new business idea and the potential for my future I'm just so happy with those possibilities that its not easy to dampen my mood. Also, even though my girlfriend was sexually open there was still the fact that she said if we ever got married she would want to stop things like having threesomes, etc. I would like to add as well this time it wasn't even close to me pushing her away. It was pretty much in her court this time. I should add that we close to like a week ago because I was getting fed up with something but I simply laid down my boundaries and my expectations. With that I told her if she didn't respect them then I'm out of this relationship.
The main contention is that I noticed that when she didn't get what she wanted she would act like a brat. She would sometimes say things meant to hurt me, get all carried away with her emotions and then end the conversation for the day. Seems very woman like in behavior a lot of the time but especially if your a 19 year old female. Anyway, I really got tired of this because even though she would apologize for her behavior the next day this ended up becoming a weekly occurrence. So I laid down my rules and she seemed to control herself for a while but one week later it practically happens again except this time she uses the threat of breaking up to try and get what she wants.
In case you guys are wondering the main thing that kept on leading to these fights (more was like her getting worked up and me getting annoyed but trying to remain calm) was her wanting me to give her a baby. I kept on telling her that it wouldn't be the best time right now given how long it would be for me to move over their permanently (about a year or 2 after I finish my degree). I would actually want to be there during the first 2 years of my child's life not somewhere far away but she just kept on bringing it up weekly. To the point she even said that despite all that even if I weren't there the first couple of years she would still want the child. I'm starting to think if maybe she just wanted this child so badly , not only cause she loved me but also because she lost her first child in a miscarriage. Either way I wasn't agreeing to this at the moment , even though I told her I might contemplate it more given my financial idea would guarantee they would be taken care of.
Anyway, the bratty attitude came out and she used the whole "Why don't we just break up then since you care more about your plans than my happiness" which I think obviously was a veiled threat to make me give in. It had the opposite effect as you can imagine. I said my peace and then blocked her on Viber and most other things except I forgot about Facebook. She was able to contact me there where it lasted a bit longer but it was more of the trying to shame me or make me feel guilty for not giving into her thing. After that I said my peace and just deleted/blocked her on there as well. I had told her I might contact her in a week so we can just remain friends but I'm seriously rethinking that. That all happened minutes ago.
Like I said, I'm not really all broken up about it as I thought. It does open new opportunities for me to have more variety in how I achieve my business venture. As it is now, after I finish my degree I can either (1) keep working here while investing in it, (2) Teach English in South Korea and SEA in general while investing in it, or (3) If DMSI final works like its suppose to do my original idea of getting into acting by becoming a sex symbol as it where with the help of DMSI, and make even more contributions towards my business venture. Also, I guess I just see it as for the best that this happened since I couldn't imagine being married to somewhat who acts all bratty when they don't get their way. I don't get the idea in having that attitude especially in a country like the Philippines where the guy can just up and leave with no financial repercussions like if he were married in the states. Seems really short term thinking in my opinion (or no thinking at all).
Either way, I'm not really sad at all really. I have so much stuff to look forward to in the coming years that this just seems like a bump in the road. I will admit it might be because I've gotten better at cutting people out of my life over the years that I know weren't good for me and can do it on a seconds notice. Granted before there usually at least use to be some kind of pain for a couple of days but now none whatsoever. I think that might be because 3.2 cleared up some past traumas I might have had. Its like, well its over with and no point in being sad or unhappy. Some things just don't end well and you might as well just move on with your life. I think as it was said in gone with the wind, "When one door closes, another one opens". I feel like that might be how I see things at the moment and there's a new found kind of optimism in me now for when things go wrong.
Anyway, that's all for now. I have too many potential opportunities in the future to be unhappy at the moment.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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