Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[Shannon]

On a separate note, I do have a question Shannon. Is this certain part of me over fearing this or is it true that if you do get emotionally/physically close to someone they have a measure of "control" over you? Or is that just all in my mind? I remember you told Catman about his bad past experiences that he couldn't control the women who did such horriable things.. but he could control how he reacted to it. Does that same thing applies here? In the end can a person only hurt you, emotionally mostly, if you let them? Is that still within your control when your close to someone? Thanks in advance for any insight you can provide.

Getting into a relationship does nothing to give someone else control over you. Giving them any control over you is always a choice. That fear is not reality based.

And yes, the same thing applies here. You can only control and change yourself. And yes, nobody can hurt you if you don't let them. It's not easy to avoid without really understanding the process that results in that pain, but it is true.

By the way, it is my considered opinion that the entire trip was probably your way of executing DMSI. Here's why.

1. You were looking to improve yourself.
2. You chose to do so out of the US, where you could find attractive women who are nopt raised in a society that results in beliefs and attitudes that previously caused you pain.
3. YOU SELF SABOTAGED THE FIRST TICKET.
4. YOU ENDED UP WITH A LONG TERM GIRLFRIEND WHO SURVIVED YOUR FEAR BASED REACTIONS, and is very sexual and open sexually.

DMSI runs in your head about 35 days in v3.2, but once you stop that, it runs in your head as natural programming if it has become your natural programming.

Now considering how badly you were treated by American women, does this seem like a reasonable way for DMSI to achieve it's goals to you?

Thanks for the advice, that made sense. I'm guessing something like that is already in DMSI to help deal with pain objectively? If so I've probably just been resisting the shit out of it.

Also, WOW I didn't even think about the trip that way. Though I do see it somewhat and noticed some things on my trip that I didn't mention. It was during this trip that I first started using my contact lenses. I got a lot of attention and attraction from the local girls and not even just the Philippines either. I had lay overs in South Korea and can notice people from there treating me with more respect and I got the typical "you have beautiful eyes" comment from at least one Korean woman.

There was one woman in the first city I stayed in, Angeles city which is like the Las vegas of SEA to some people, who gave me a interesting response. She worked at a 24 hour restaurant/bar that I frequented without my contacts on. She didn't even really pay attention to me at all then on my last day in that city I walk in with my Green contacts from the previous night. She is the one that takes my order and keeps on staring then ask if they are contacts. I tell her yes then she goes to get the ordered done. She sits a few seats down from me because its not busy and I noticed she keeps on staring at me. Eventually she worked up the courage and started asking me about myself and other such things while continually making eye contact and constantly smiling. I felt like I could have taken it somewhere but I don't know I don't know if I have reached that level of comfort yet. So use to trying to take things places then I get brutally rejected. I noticed the same reaction with another waitress in Manila as well except she was even more nervous and jittery when trying to talk to me.

I noticed even guys gave me huge amounts of respect as well. For example, the Korea guy sitting next to me on the flight back here acted very helpful and gave me some of his snacks for no reason that I can think of. I don't know, my travel through the Philippines and to a extent South Korea kind of showed me I can be loved and be found attractive by woman and be shown politeness and respect in general. It felt weird in someways to be treated this well whereas in the US I felt like there was always this rudeness with many people and this need by too many to try to exert their power over others in a negative way.

So Shannon if I take what you said correctly, could it be that I'm not yet at that level personally where I could probably do well with American women in generally (due to my current issues) so my subconscious just found a way to execute the program in a different way, by just making me go to another country with different beliefs that I could probably execute with no problem?

It seems likely.

I will admit I did feel confidant, more authenticate, and open while there and kept "some" of that when I came back. I will admit being in Angeles city did help with that in the fact that I saw old retired guys in their 50s with hot Asian girlfriends in their 20s. Seeing that made me realize I'm just 30, so if they can be in their 50s and overweight and still get hot girls like that then I should have no problem, being younger and fitter.

You have had bad experiences with American women (I am guessing), so it would seem that your subconscious found you a culture that does not produce those issues. Just remember to avoid gold diggers.

Oh and as a side thing , right before I got back I checked my email and got offered a job. If the job is still on the table and I get it, it would allow me to easily live on my own, and make frequent trips to SEA a year until I finish my online degree so I can travel SEA permanently as much as I want. I found that to be a interesting coincidence.

Is there really any such thing as coincidence?