01-18-2018, 06:58 AM
Well, a lot of surprising stuff has gone in the last few days and even more importantly last night which has me wondering just how powerful 3.2 is going to be against resistance. Based on the internal stuff that happened last night I actually feel motivated to post about it.
I've mentioned before that over the past few days I've lost interest in watching porn. Essentially, what happened was I started to losing interest while watching it and didn't get any sort of 'slight' high after watching it. Basically, the high became lower and lower to the point that I just stopped watching it completely. I haven't watched any in the last couple of days though the thought has crossed my mind a few times (more on that later). From there I ended up just daydreaming about doing it with some women I knew and fapping to that. Though after like a day or 2 I even stopped doing that. I might still daydream but the idea of busting due to that is starting to no longer have any appeal to me. As you can probably tell its been a slow but steady decline in that area to the point of totally abstaining from such activities.
What is very interesting is what happened last night that made me realize what was going on with my thought processes in regards to any thoughts that might be perceived as resistant type thoughts. I'm not sure if this is due to some new tech that might be put in 3.2 or if because of the increase in power and closing of loopholes ASS/ART is really doing its job now. I can't remember what the thought was but I think it was a negative one. I noticed as soon as I became aware of the thought, which was pretty much instantly, it seemed like every other thought or process in my mind just stopped. It became instantly eerily, silent. The best way I can describe this is with the movie Inception. If you've watched the movie you will know that they mention how someone's mind reacts when it discovers that someone has entered it. I good example would be when Dicapio's character tells Cillian Murphy's character while they are at a bar that he has entered his mind. Automatically, all the other guests (thoughts, or different levels of conscious in the mind I'm assuming) in the bar stop what they are doing and stare silently at Dicapio's character. They realize he isn't suppose to be there and seem like they are observing whether he is a threat or not. This is very similar to what happened with in my mind. The negative thought automatically was recognized and they everything else in my mind went silent. As though it recognized it didn't belong there and was assessing its threat level.
Immediately after this silence in my mind it was like this negative thought was trying to jump around all over trying to "latch" on to something (maybe a insecurity, etc) that it could use to build momentum. It never worked. The best example I could give is that of trying to climbing up the wall of a snow covered mountain with no tools but with your gloved covered hands. The climber tries to latch on to the first ledge but then its too slippery so they loose their grip and fall on their @ss. The climber gets up and tries again with more effort. They latch on to another ledge and trying to hold on even more grip power. All of a sudden that ledge has even more ice/snow on it and the climber falls down again. Eventually after trying this over and over the climber gives up because he's spent all his energy. I noticed this with this particular thought as well. It would keep on trying to survive by trying to latch on to something with more effort and would be met with more effort that would not let it get a grip. One could say it was being met with a Akido reverse throw every time. Eventually I noticed the energy behind the thought was spent and the thought just dropped off. Don't really know what to make of this whole phenomenon.
Along with that I have noticed more more positive thoughts. Such as this increased confidence in what I want to achieve with my life and realizing that based on that I have more than enough to offer a woman than the poor smuck she might be dating or interested in right now. This is really different than my normal thought processes I realize now. I also had a realization about something was very simple but profound for me like 2 days ago. This happened while I was in deep thought at the time and I think it had to do with being in a different state (alpha, beta, theta state, etc) of mind since it was close to when I was trying to go to sleep. That if reality bending is real and that I can manipulate my present and future to get my desired results then my past becomes irrelevant. Having that type of ability makes my past meaningless and unimportant so there is no point in focusing on it. Once I realized this I felt like something was lifted off my shoulders. The mistakes and lost opportunities of the past mean nothing if I can reach my goals anyway.
The second to last thing that happened last night was that there was a moment when I consciously resisted. Basically, after that inception incident I realized that there was no point in resisting but then that brought up another issue that automatically scared my mind I believe. It was the thought that I was being "controlled". As soon as that happened immediately it was like something deep within my mind reached up to me at the conscious level before I knew it and was telling me to consciously resist. Before I even finished that complete thought of consciously resisting though it was like that whole inception thing I mentioned happened immediately and that thought lost all power, though it lasted a bit longer than the negative thought did. I'm assuming that whatever that was, was some primal level of my subconscious because it felt like some knee jerk reaction to the thought of being controlled by something.
The last thing that happened was some dream that was very weird but I can't help but feel it had some major importance seeing as I kept on thinking about a certain part of it for like 8 mins after the dream ended. Esentially, I was in my room which was kind of messy. I had the taste for Oreos and milk. I leave the apartment complex and start walking down the street. I pass by a drive thru restaurant and noticed that a lot of my former co-workers were in the parking lot. I walked into the parking lot and stood there. I heard them talking all around me and saying they needed to get to work quick (apparently they all got another job working at the restaurant). They all start suddenly stripping in the parking lot out of their normal clothes to get into their work cloths. I should note most of them are women with only like 2 guys there. For whatever reason i start changing there as well except I change into another set of clothes, not work clothes. After I'm done I pick up my original clothes and start walking down the street back to my apartment. One of my co-workers, one of the male ones, yells something to me while I walk down the street. I don't remember exactly what it was but I believe it was something positive.
I get to the complex and walk up the first flight of stairs. I get to the first level and towards the end where the first turn is, where there is a side ramp, I noticed a big chuck of the whole landing at the turn and railing missing. I stand there for a moment thinking something is not right here seeing as I just left a few mins ago. I go to the side where there is another pair of stairs to get to the first level. I notice while I'm going that pair of stairs that from the side that practically the whole walkway on that landing is missing. Luckily, I can still get to the apartment from the other pair of stairs. I notice all around that there are people cleaning and renovating the entire building (workers, the person who works for the landlord, my mother, and my step father who is dead btw). I get closer to the apartment and my mother tells me she wants to trade me this orb like thing I have for a Glock so the landlord doesn't find out (our landlord is very nosy about stuff). The thing that flashes in my minds eye is this orb type thing (think of those Christmas things where you shake it and it looks like its snowing). There is liquid inside the thing like those Christmas items except in the middle there is a big open dragon's eye in the middle. I get to the my room to trade the thing. I stand in my room kind of in awe because its still kind of messy but its practically clean at this point. At this point I wake up.
I don't know why but I had this feeling that the Glock (though I didn't see it in the dream) held some significance and I kept on thinking about that aspect of the dream after it ended for like 8 mins. I still can't fathom why having that gun was very important. I did read somewhere that sometimes a gun in a dream can represent pride and power but even then I'm not totally sure that was the meaning. I do know that I felt some twinge of excitement about getting a Glock for some reason.
Anyway, that's about all that happened. I'm trying not to hype myself up for this release but given whats been happening lately it does make me somewhat hopefully. The fact that I'm getting these TID type experiences, some parts are trying to resist the TID, and failing does make me think this version might push me over the edge of actually executing the program correctly. If TID is making some of these changes I can only imagine how powerful running the actual program will be.
I've mentioned before that over the past few days I've lost interest in watching porn. Essentially, what happened was I started to losing interest while watching it and didn't get any sort of 'slight' high after watching it. Basically, the high became lower and lower to the point that I just stopped watching it completely. I haven't watched any in the last couple of days though the thought has crossed my mind a few times (more on that later). From there I ended up just daydreaming about doing it with some women I knew and fapping to that. Though after like a day or 2 I even stopped doing that. I might still daydream but the idea of busting due to that is starting to no longer have any appeal to me. As you can probably tell its been a slow but steady decline in that area to the point of totally abstaining from such activities.
What is very interesting is what happened last night that made me realize what was going on with my thought processes in regards to any thoughts that might be perceived as resistant type thoughts. I'm not sure if this is due to some new tech that might be put in 3.2 or if because of the increase in power and closing of loopholes ASS/ART is really doing its job now. I can't remember what the thought was but I think it was a negative one. I noticed as soon as I became aware of the thought, which was pretty much instantly, it seemed like every other thought or process in my mind just stopped. It became instantly eerily, silent. The best way I can describe this is with the movie Inception. If you've watched the movie you will know that they mention how someone's mind reacts when it discovers that someone has entered it. I good example would be when Dicapio's character tells Cillian Murphy's character while they are at a bar that he has entered his mind. Automatically, all the other guests (thoughts, or different levels of conscious in the mind I'm assuming) in the bar stop what they are doing and stare silently at Dicapio's character. They realize he isn't suppose to be there and seem like they are observing whether he is a threat or not. This is very similar to what happened with in my mind. The negative thought automatically was recognized and they everything else in my mind went silent. As though it recognized it didn't belong there and was assessing its threat level.
Immediately after this silence in my mind it was like this negative thought was trying to jump around all over trying to "latch" on to something (maybe a insecurity, etc) that it could use to build momentum. It never worked. The best example I could give is that of trying to climbing up the wall of a snow covered mountain with no tools but with your gloved covered hands. The climber tries to latch on to the first ledge but then its too slippery so they loose their grip and fall on their @ss. The climber gets up and tries again with more effort. They latch on to another ledge and trying to hold on even more grip power. All of a sudden that ledge has even more ice/snow on it and the climber falls down again. Eventually after trying this over and over the climber gives up because he's spent all his energy. I noticed this with this particular thought as well. It would keep on trying to survive by trying to latch on to something with more effort and would be met with more effort that would not let it get a grip. One could say it was being met with a Akido reverse throw every time. Eventually I noticed the energy behind the thought was spent and the thought just dropped off. Don't really know what to make of this whole phenomenon.
Along with that I have noticed more more positive thoughts. Such as this increased confidence in what I want to achieve with my life and realizing that based on that I have more than enough to offer a woman than the poor smuck she might be dating or interested in right now. This is really different than my normal thought processes I realize now. I also had a realization about something was very simple but profound for me like 2 days ago. This happened while I was in deep thought at the time and I think it had to do with being in a different state (alpha, beta, theta state, etc) of mind since it was close to when I was trying to go to sleep. That if reality bending is real and that I can manipulate my present and future to get my desired results then my past becomes irrelevant. Having that type of ability makes my past meaningless and unimportant so there is no point in focusing on it. Once I realized this I felt like something was lifted off my shoulders. The mistakes and lost opportunities of the past mean nothing if I can reach my goals anyway.
The second to last thing that happened last night was that there was a moment when I consciously resisted. Basically, after that inception incident I realized that there was no point in resisting but then that brought up another issue that automatically scared my mind I believe. It was the thought that I was being "controlled". As soon as that happened immediately it was like something deep within my mind reached up to me at the conscious level before I knew it and was telling me to consciously resist. Before I even finished that complete thought of consciously resisting though it was like that whole inception thing I mentioned happened immediately and that thought lost all power, though it lasted a bit longer than the negative thought did. I'm assuming that whatever that was, was some primal level of my subconscious because it felt like some knee jerk reaction to the thought of being controlled by something.
The last thing that happened was some dream that was very weird but I can't help but feel it had some major importance seeing as I kept on thinking about a certain part of it for like 8 mins after the dream ended. Esentially, I was in my room which was kind of messy. I had the taste for Oreos and milk. I leave the apartment complex and start walking down the street. I pass by a drive thru restaurant and noticed that a lot of my former co-workers were in the parking lot. I walked into the parking lot and stood there. I heard them talking all around me and saying they needed to get to work quick (apparently they all got another job working at the restaurant). They all start suddenly stripping in the parking lot out of their normal clothes to get into their work cloths. I should note most of them are women with only like 2 guys there. For whatever reason i start changing there as well except I change into another set of clothes, not work clothes. After I'm done I pick up my original clothes and start walking down the street back to my apartment. One of my co-workers, one of the male ones, yells something to me while I walk down the street. I don't remember exactly what it was but I believe it was something positive.
I get to the complex and walk up the first flight of stairs. I get to the first level and towards the end where the first turn is, where there is a side ramp, I noticed a big chuck of the whole landing at the turn and railing missing. I stand there for a moment thinking something is not right here seeing as I just left a few mins ago. I go to the side where there is another pair of stairs to get to the first level. I notice while I'm going that pair of stairs that from the side that practically the whole walkway on that landing is missing. Luckily, I can still get to the apartment from the other pair of stairs. I notice all around that there are people cleaning and renovating the entire building (workers, the person who works for the landlord, my mother, and my step father who is dead btw). I get closer to the apartment and my mother tells me she wants to trade me this orb like thing I have for a Glock so the landlord doesn't find out (our landlord is very nosy about stuff). The thing that flashes in my minds eye is this orb type thing (think of those Christmas things where you shake it and it looks like its snowing). There is liquid inside the thing like those Christmas items except in the middle there is a big open dragon's eye in the middle. I get to the my room to trade the thing. I stand in my room kind of in awe because its still kind of messy but its practically clean at this point. At this point I wake up.
I don't know why but I had this feeling that the Glock (though I didn't see it in the dream) held some significance and I kept on thinking about that aspect of the dream after it ended for like 8 mins. I still can't fathom why having that gun was very important. I did read somewhere that sometimes a gun in a dream can represent pride and power but even then I'm not totally sure that was the meaning. I do know that I felt some twinge of excitement about getting a Glock for some reason.
Anyway, that's about all that happened. I'm trying not to hype myself up for this release but given whats been happening lately it does make me somewhat hopefully. The fact that I'm getting these TID type experiences, some parts are trying to resist the TID, and failing does make me think this version might push me over the edge of actually executing the program correctly. If TID is making some of these changes I can only imagine how powerful running the actual program will be.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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