08-31-2017, 06:47 AM
So somehow i did not plan typing here on a daily base, but it feels secure to get response from experienced members 
Hm, how to put things in the right words. Actual i feel kind of a crazy monkey caged in a bubble smacking his head against to get out
Things start to change rapidly, like coming in waves. There is the anger/hate feeling peaking up - then it is gone again. I get a clear sight on the things caused the lack of confidence, but in way of looking at them from a distance - kind of being objective and not related to my person.
Again things change and i look at life thinking what i want to aim for now, feeling nervous in a positive way where to go from here, but not able yet to define the new goals.
But also i am very attracted and interested to the fact that in general there is a process or something going on.
Well, all this is kind related to my inner state. When looking to daily life i feel socializing is a thing to welcome.
Actual there are two situations in life in know i have to stand up against rather soon, but still having some fear speaking loud my critics on them, be anxious about causing the conflict. But whenever coming across those two scenes i get kind of a feeling of pressure on my chest.
On the other hand, also relaxing things appear. Was playing my first golf tournament being able to do so in a rather mental quiet state. Also in crowded scenes confidence seems to have grown a bit.
Let´s see how things go on
Hm, how to put things in the right words. Actual i feel kind of a crazy monkey caged in a bubble smacking his head against to get out
Things start to change rapidly, like coming in waves. There is the anger/hate feeling peaking up - then it is gone again. I get a clear sight on the things caused the lack of confidence, but in way of looking at them from a distance - kind of being objective and not related to my person.
Again things change and i look at life thinking what i want to aim for now, feeling nervous in a positive way where to go from here, but not able yet to define the new goals.
But also i am very attracted and interested to the fact that in general there is a process or something going on.
Well, all this is kind related to my inner state. When looking to daily life i feel socializing is a thing to welcome.
Actual there are two situations in life in know i have to stand up against rather soon, but still having some fear speaking loud my critics on them, be anxious about causing the conflict. But whenever coming across those two scenes i get kind of a feeling of pressure on my chest.
On the other hand, also relaxing things appear. Was playing my first golf tournament being able to do so in a rather mental quiet state. Also in crowded scenes confidence seems to have grown a bit.
Let´s see how things go on
