Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Probably some fear on her part. Also some girl watch too much movie and thinks the guy will chase her to the end of the world no matter how many times she may insult him and they think it's love

Could be though she also made it seem like I was "tempting" her to do something evil (ugh). I think I am seeing a pattern again here and I think I have an idea of what is happening with this part of me that is resisting. I think what happens is I will get close to a break thru about how I see women (instead of in a negative or resentful light) but there's some part of me that is "convinced" (or wants to be right no matter the cost) that they are untrust worthy, unreliable or liars. Will meet a girl, she gives all these IOIs or point blank all but says shes interested, I will then proceed to move things forward and then all of a sudden her attitude does a complete 180. I believe my mind is then redefining terms, or lying to other parts of myself in order to get reversal resistance to happen. It will then use that reversal resistance incidence to "regenerate" the old thought patterns. I say this because I might have spoke too soon about how these strike outs affected me. At first it didn't but I started to notice hours afterwards that my head is starting to turn to my old ideas ( Women are a waste of time, they are just attention whores who like the attention I give them but when it comes time to do anything they flake/ turn nasty, etc).

I don't know why this part of me wants to be proven so right (if t'hats the case)or that its so afraid of reaching the design goals. Apparently its so afraid of something that it rather face racial discrimination than reach the design goals. Honestly can't wait til the "full" version of 3.2 comes out so my mind can't use these tricks anymore. These time displacement instances I've had over the last couple of weeks are interesting but really can't wait for the full thing to come out. I feel like this trick is the last ditch effort my subconscious has to play.