Im almost drunk with emotion and crap and what not and its making me delirious. I dont even care if its not making sense or something. I feel and act like shit. My mind is totally messed up, drawing blanks. Simple interactions are turned complicated out of some shitty fear motives. Im crumbling and I hate it. Like wtf. Im suspicious and fearfull of coming across neefy, clingy, supplicating. Its like this web of lies and shit going all around and slipping into default mode. I dont care if I am bitching right now and/or what not. Its almost like a deepgrained nechanism of expectation and dissapointment.
Torment I would say it is. I miss my truly NGAF and cocky attitude knowing im abundant.maybe through Shannons subs we develop a certain way that puts us in another kind of life. I feel to braggy. I feel lots of pua shit in my mind running like a fucking parasite, thinking in manipulative ways. Its like massive a block preventing me from developing.
Again, starting with nofap. Apathy, disinterest and braindeadness play the overtones last few days and its pretty much depressing me to no end. Also, I dont want fucking sympathy from women or anything like fucking lapdog. Keep that shit of it. Niceguy crap is still dominating in a way in my behaviour and reflecting in my responses. Playing it to safe and anti seductive. To much attention towards that. Let go. Im overthinking the whole thing aswell. Like as if im being to sexual pushy and forcefull. Testing the wsters but inclined feeling of the pushing/pulling away as being suspicious.
Its ultimate me. Knowing im abundant. Having options. Build up from there. Just awesome life living flowing into one project to another.
Torment I would say it is. I miss my truly NGAF and cocky attitude knowing im abundant.maybe through Shannons subs we develop a certain way that puts us in another kind of life. I feel to braggy. I feel lots of pua shit in my mind running like a fucking parasite, thinking in manipulative ways. Its like massive a block preventing me from developing.
Again, starting with nofap. Apathy, disinterest and braindeadness play the overtones last few days and its pretty much depressing me to no end. Also, I dont want fucking sympathy from women or anything like fucking lapdog. Keep that shit of it. Niceguy crap is still dominating in a way in my behaviour and reflecting in my responses. Playing it to safe and anti seductive. To much attention towards that. Let go. Im overthinking the whole thing aswell. Like as if im being to sexual pushy and forcefull. Testing the wsters but inclined feeling of the pushing/pulling away as being suspicious.
Its ultimate me. Knowing im abundant. Having options. Build up from there. Just awesome life living flowing into one project to another.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
