3.1 DMSI: Change is Coming

[RTBoss]

Glad you're okay, and feel like you a have a new lease on life!

[Determined]

More power to you brother, glad you found this empowering and that you're ok

[Dutchman610]

Some as of last night, I am 9 days sober. This time it's completely different because I have no craving what so ever. I'm good at visualization the taste of any food or drink I have already tried, but I tried it with rum when I went into the store to grab my dad something. Well rum and other alcohol didn't seem to be in my food & drink database anymore.

There is this new overwhelming energy, that I've feeling for the last 4 days. It's making hard for me to sleep, enough so that I broke my 7days of no PMO. The good news is though, because of the energy influx It made me look for new outlets. I started training for running in preparation for a marathon down the road. Because of this, I started a new PMO streak of 1 day. The other benefits of my running as been, after that one session I don't get winded going up the stairs, I'm leading by example again.

I'm starting to understanding why I feel like a different person since the crash. My theory is all the self-improvement work that I've been doing for the past 4-5 years as finally stopped be depressed by the alcohol. An example of this would be things that I understood consciously, but subconsciously there was something blocking me for acting. She women as only another human or talk to them as if there your best friend I knew this stuff. But, in the past still was always something holding me back. My confidence, self-esteem, courage, are now on point or close to the levels I've always been working towards. My best bro, who I haven't seen since before the crash even told me I sound different.

Even though I'm a student but in my classes, I've established myself as the alpha by showing my value, expertise in the subject and commanding the room with my voice. In my computer class for example, I do more teaching than the teacher people come to me with there question. It's almost the same in my math class, people have already told me I'm a better tutor than the professional ones of campus. The only reason I started helping others was because if I can teach someone else that means I understand it well enough. My math class it's possible to get a final grade of 125% and which we'll help boost my GPA since I'm not the best at English.

[Dutchman610]

I know I haven't done a post in quiet sometime. I've going though alot of healing. For 2 months there I went back to A.M. stage 7 for a refresher. I am now back on 3.1, now for weeks. Its all started with my new job.

The major breakthrough in the healing front, is the my voice. My voice hasn't change for others. My perception of it has changed greatly. My voice before sounded higher pitch, now the way I hear it is a confident sexual alpha male. I have even started making my own erotic audio. The response to my voice and sexuality from the girls that turn me on has been great.

Theres plenty more to tell, but I save that for next time. Which I plan on doing soon.

[Dutchman610]

So, back in December I went to my office Christmas party. I meet this awesome girl who I found really attractive. We connected but looking back I wanted to take it alittle slower. I believe now she just wanted to have a one night stand. Alot of my resistance or insecure because I saw the signs of her interest. That insecure of thinking I can't please a women, or that women would really want me. As of now, I there is less back talk (in the mind) when I approach any female I find attractive. At first thought I know what to say because I now know it well be fine ("She is the lucky one, that I find her attractive").

Theres to many changes in the last few months to ignore because of DMSI. I have pently more, I'd like share with everyone.

[Dutchman610]

This last week, I've been feeling off. I tried many things to get out of my funk, meditation, more loops of DMSI, rest and relaxation, everything I could think of. Today, I turned on my pc for the first time in over a year. I was going though it to see what I had on it as far as games and whatever else I had. I pressed play on an self-help audio I had downloaded back in 2016 of January. It was prefect for my state, it was about valuing the physical and flirt with women over the fantasy. To be honest it was what I needed at that moment. It goes to show you what listening to your intuition can do for you.

Another thing I realized this week, is the more you look for happiness the further away it gets away from you. I found when you stop thinking about yourself and help others you the happiness is already there. So, I well be keeping up with this journal because if I help only one person I'll be a happy man.

I have been self medicating for the last week, so this release of emotion has helped me. I have been staying positive by saying to myself "DMSI has an emotion shield, so whatever it's letting you feel you can handle" It has helped, because It was self medicating at lose doses. I have a smile from ear to ear now that hump of my resistances is finally over.

[Dutchman610]

In the last week I have not drinking to excess, nofap, and in the gym for 4 days. It's a shift back to my habits I built back before I injured my back. Before the injury I was 21days for the 3 habits, I took 3 weeks off the gym to heal. Looking back now that I'm back in the gym, I think I could have went back earlier. I'm still not fully healed but the gym has been helping things along. I knew it wouldn't be hard to get back into it because anytime one of my friends told me they were at the gym I got jealous I couldn't go due to an injury. As for drinking I do have a beer now and than. I choose water or health food over excess alcohol my body just craves it more. I tried to do nofap while injured but without the dopamine from the gym it was hard. I was able to do a few days but not that consistent. One thing that has carried over from my 21 day nofap before the injury is the horniness for girls. If a girl I find attractive smiles at me I get blood flow to the nether region. I'm less in my head, if I think of something to say to a potential partner I just say it without much hesitation. In the past, I would have to try and psych myself up. Than even if I did I still wouldn't say it unless I was drinking. That could be a big reason I'm not drinking as much if any.