I feel very edgy, like, I know I can be this unattached person in life, fully imposing frame and being whatever and whoever I want to be. Incredibly cocky aswell.
Unable to go out is killing to me and I wish to explore the world. Even now, if the world is about to end it would phase me. I can say I'm in a bubble but I am not.
Encountered again some feelings of worthlessness and tragedy today. Very introspective yet now IDC. im getting to my longest no-fap streak and notice socially im also getting less caring and more playfull. My knowing of options grows solid and somewhat tones me down. It even consists of knowing women are attracted anyways to me, on a subconscious deep level. More garbage removal will in turn bring me to new places. It shows in my body language and enables me to hold my gaze longer. Like some few days before these 2 milfs threw glances and I realized it instantly. It feels healthy to have this realized. Im a sort of edgy animal as I see it now, think Damon cocky mode and full realized. Today my internal dialoge went also more intense. I revisited some childhood places mentally, relived them and indulged in them a bit. It was met with excitement and a theme of AM to re-collect my childhood places. Less seduction focussed. More knowing already. Not wondering but knowing. Bite that bullet boy.
Also thought about feeling dead at some point this evening. Felt somewhat shrugging my shoulders about it like having this body and stuff and how I carry it around. LOL. now writing this amuses me to a extent like haha.
The last couple of days about not having my mission and not caring about seemed to be rooted in procrastination and avoidance on a more deeper level. I experienced some ease and blending with reality in a sense that I became reality and congrugent with it which was mindblowing. Now I had a idea come up to become a psycho-therapist. The point is; im still at times to much empathic and 'living to understand' other views which messes me up. This seems to root in confidence and self esteem. A trail I picked up along which has time to ingrain into my being.
My style and clothing gets more congrugent aswell.
Another was my essence like a almost split up identity on its own. Cold, calculating, almost bordering predatory and very much dark and lack of any care in the world. Somewhat zen but similar to 'humanity switch' in TVD. it had a voice and way of its own. Then my mind somewhat fought over between several thoughts. If I would let go it could take the reigns. Fear? IDK. It had ways of it own.
Current situation is getting me more fed up. Im growing leaps and bounds, elevation already strikes. I want a legacy to build. Self governing and direct manifesting skills. Not gonna doubt AM helps lots with this even if Im now experiencing some sort of back set in this in terms of internal and mental activity but it somewhat sucks to not burst forward and already being there. Think about introspection and pushed into this place. I truly like my rebellious spirit in this. Never satisfied. Slowing down has its value and purpose to look deeper and greater stuff is to gain from that. All addictions fall away. Somewhat pridefull atm and amazed.
I need a drink.
![[Image: 54727-Damon-wink--Imgur-tm1M.gif]](https://img.pandawhale.com/54727-Damon-wink--Imgur-tm1M.gif)
Unable to go out is killing to me and I wish to explore the world. Even now, if the world is about to end it would phase me. I can say I'm in a bubble but I am not.
Encountered again some feelings of worthlessness and tragedy today. Very introspective yet now IDC. im getting to my longest no-fap streak and notice socially im also getting less caring and more playfull. My knowing of options grows solid and somewhat tones me down. It even consists of knowing women are attracted anyways to me, on a subconscious deep level. More garbage removal will in turn bring me to new places. It shows in my body language and enables me to hold my gaze longer. Like some few days before these 2 milfs threw glances and I realized it instantly. It feels healthy to have this realized. Im a sort of edgy animal as I see it now, think Damon cocky mode and full realized. Today my internal dialoge went also more intense. I revisited some childhood places mentally, relived them and indulged in them a bit. It was met with excitement and a theme of AM to re-collect my childhood places. Less seduction focussed. More knowing already. Not wondering but knowing. Bite that bullet boy.
Also thought about feeling dead at some point this evening. Felt somewhat shrugging my shoulders about it like having this body and stuff and how I carry it around. LOL. now writing this amuses me to a extent like haha.
The last couple of days about not having my mission and not caring about seemed to be rooted in procrastination and avoidance on a more deeper level. I experienced some ease and blending with reality in a sense that I became reality and congrugent with it which was mindblowing. Now I had a idea come up to become a psycho-therapist. The point is; im still at times to much empathic and 'living to understand' other views which messes me up. This seems to root in confidence and self esteem. A trail I picked up along which has time to ingrain into my being.
My style and clothing gets more congrugent aswell.
Another was my essence like a almost split up identity on its own. Cold, calculating, almost bordering predatory and very much dark and lack of any care in the world. Somewhat zen but similar to 'humanity switch' in TVD. it had a voice and way of its own. Then my mind somewhat fought over between several thoughts. If I would let go it could take the reigns. Fear? IDK. It had ways of it own.
Current situation is getting me more fed up. Im growing leaps and bounds, elevation already strikes. I want a legacy to build. Self governing and direct manifesting skills. Not gonna doubt AM helps lots with this even if Im now experiencing some sort of back set in this in terms of internal and mental activity but it somewhat sucks to not burst forward and already being there. Think about introspection and pushed into this place. I truly like my rebellious spirit in this. Never satisfied. Slowing down has its value and purpose to look deeper and greater stuff is to gain from that. All addictions fall away. Somewhat pridefull atm and amazed.
I need a drink.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
