Quote:So after a while I withdrew even further. Basically, I went to school and drew as less attention to myself as possible and then came home and basically locked myself in my room. I mostly just sat in my room, played video games, day dreamed, and listened to music. So basically, I had to deal with tearing down other people "A-holes" at school and a career oriented Feminazi mom at home. I learned the best way to deal with all this was to draw as less attention to myself as possible. There lies in the problem. It doesn't want to co-operate because a fear that has been instilled in me for years. If it executes the program fully that means I draw attention to myself and my subconscious associates drawing a lot of attention myself with : Ridicule, being made fun of, being teared down, and the emotional pain associated with all those things.
Fucking hell man... it's like you just described me back at school. My mum doesn't sound extreme like a feminazi type like that but my parents were way too overprotective which has caused it's own issues for me.
The rest though I was like "damn.."
And sometimes when I do start getting attention which has happened a few times on different subliminals, the first thing I seem to think is they are looking at me because somethings wrong with me, or that I look funny or whatever. That's even what I thought on the weekend when several girls were staring at me. And usually some type of fear shuts it down after not long which sucks. I hope DMSI can get through that for me.
