01-19-2017, 05:11 AM
Am looking in some more clothingstyles including denim jackets, leather jackets and accesories. In ways Im not caring about women at all and turn ice cold, feeling masculinity and centredness oozing from me. Been getting more glances yet encounter still some jelousy spikes randomly popping in my head. Probably some flashback things and clearing.
My dreams become more sexual. Have some longing last few days and different scenarios around sex, closure yet reading about sex send my body in a strong intense sexual state, very intense at times without getting hard yet fully immersing in some dream like state.
I do feel Im getting close to something, authentic and disconnection from anything, societal structures, internal beliefs I was raised from and stuff picked up along the way. Im also getting some passion back, anger and short fuse. Im also fearless in pegging women a step down and showing dominance. Not out of fear, rather out of...idk? Cant pinpoint exactly how to call it.
Getting uninhibited fast around sex. Had some conversation yesterday with another guy who claims to do direct game. Made me bring up the times I went very direct in my game and strong, to strong.
Taking stuff less personal yet notice subtle communication from women in terms of turning down betas. Taking things less personal, feeling relief when thinking back at the interactions with women. Laughing and mocking it, they could be just horney. Pretty big shift.
Anger turns up, jelousy(?) Resentment.
Getting ruthless as of late and disinhibited more and more. More ice cold and disconnecting which I like yet am indifferent about simultaneously.
Drive to journalling is low. It seem to hold me back coming on here. I want to thrive, go out and be killing it. Books dont do much for me this stage. Remembering what sickologist wrote as I been reading his journal along with dzemoo's, that experience is what matters. Trial, error, ruthless experience through the flames.
Seeking more conflict aswell. Want to stirr up conflicts and seek the challenge. Warlike spirit. Seems something I did experience my first run. IDGAF what anyone thinks about this or whatever. Total polarisation and adversial tendencies.
My dreams become more sexual. Have some longing last few days and different scenarios around sex, closure yet reading about sex send my body in a strong intense sexual state, very intense at times without getting hard yet fully immersing in some dream like state.
I do feel Im getting close to something, authentic and disconnection from anything, societal structures, internal beliefs I was raised from and stuff picked up along the way. Im also getting some passion back, anger and short fuse. Im also fearless in pegging women a step down and showing dominance. Not out of fear, rather out of...idk? Cant pinpoint exactly how to call it.
Getting uninhibited fast around sex. Had some conversation yesterday with another guy who claims to do direct game. Made me bring up the times I went very direct in my game and strong, to strong.
Taking stuff less personal yet notice subtle communication from women in terms of turning down betas. Taking things less personal, feeling relief when thinking back at the interactions with women. Laughing and mocking it, they could be just horney. Pretty big shift.
Anger turns up, jelousy(?) Resentment.
Getting ruthless as of late and disinhibited more and more. More ice cold and disconnecting which I like yet am indifferent about simultaneously.
Drive to journalling is low. It seem to hold me back coming on here. I want to thrive, go out and be killing it. Books dont do much for me this stage. Remembering what sickologist wrote as I been reading his journal along with dzemoo's, that experience is what matters. Trial, error, ruthless experience through the flames.
Seeking more conflict aswell. Want to stirr up conflicts and seek the challenge. Warlike spirit. Seems something I did experience my first run. IDGAF what anyone thinks about this or whatever. Total polarisation and adversial tendencies.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
