last few days my procrastination in terms of calling out are surfacing and it makes me feel like shit, fearfull and simply feeling locked up. Its like a never ending cycle that is very hard to break, yet this shit only happens online. otherwise Im less holding back but still to much for much taste. its as if this innate fear of conflict has reared it head and keeps me in lock down. it pisses me up and fucking sucks to begin with. Now, the tables have been turned, people start to imitate me and it somewhat creep a part of me out, like some sort of movie kind of scenario with me on the spot. wtf. stuff makes me kind of depressed and spacy and just niot wanting to deal with anything, maybe its some compensation thing, an pushing myself to socialize, yet the fear is there that im becoming socially isolated again. fuck that. eventually webt moodty today at work, just not giving a crap at all about anyone, just being moody and somewhat negative.
Another is; the last couple of days I'm revisiting my childhood in full glory, reliving it and it somewhat feels awe-striking. Also, aliens.
Stage 4 isnt been bad tbh, looking forward to stage 5, yet the upcoming days are still valuable.
edit: mind on fire. my vision becomes more grandiose, tuning into currents of creativity itself and money current. breaching more walls and roofs. addictions are killed off, giving more room for budgetting and financial straightlining, the rest is snowball effect to order life fully out and even reel up further. from this point on im becoming an efforrtless flowing working machine.
reading material from warren buffett, peter lynch. stocks are very tempting like arriving at home. Im starting to realize how far up there I am in contrast to other people and how I create my reality and all in this. tapping and realizing the creator current, dominting life. its almost similar to chess in terms of strategy, insight and evolution. Im working on a whole different program. fear is being replaced with ferocity and enthousiasm and interest, its far more greater and exceeds. if there is fear, im flipping the script. adrenalize. Im very clear minded and sharp like a diamond. To be fair, this all comes so natural and easy now, that the jump is a simple flow result, and the breakthroughs taking place, the moment they take place, they are already viewed as some old stuff. Im thinking mentored level now, connections and aquintances. its becoming my playground.
Another is; the last couple of days I'm revisiting my childhood in full glory, reliving it and it somewhat feels awe-striking. Also, aliens.
Stage 4 isnt been bad tbh, looking forward to stage 5, yet the upcoming days are still valuable.
edit: mind on fire. my vision becomes more grandiose, tuning into currents of creativity itself and money current. breaching more walls and roofs. addictions are killed off, giving more room for budgetting and financial straightlining, the rest is snowball effect to order life fully out and even reel up further. from this point on im becoming an efforrtless flowing working machine.
reading material from warren buffett, peter lynch. stocks are very tempting like arriving at home. Im starting to realize how far up there I am in contrast to other people and how I create my reality and all in this. tapping and realizing the creator current, dominting life. its almost similar to chess in terms of strategy, insight and evolution. Im working on a whole different program. fear is being replaced with ferocity and enthousiasm and interest, its far more greater and exceeds. if there is fear, im flipping the script. adrenalize. Im very clear minded and sharp like a diamond. To be fair, this all comes so natural and easy now, that the jump is a simple flow result, and the breakthroughs taking place, the moment they take place, they are already viewed as some old stuff. Im thinking mentored level now, connections and aquintances. its becoming my playground.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
