Neediness is obliterated strongly. I am the shit. Whatever. All external attachments stripped of one after another making me the prize like some spotlight shining on me while naked. Strong feelings are stirred up aswell.
Went out to get some stuff and thought by myself 'you know what? Fuck this. Im a guy im awrsome. Deal with it. Im here to ruin shit and being a playfull guy'
Now get imma van.
On another note. SM lead in seems to make women disarmed and open in my presence. I just have almost no interest like before this neediness collapse. Radical changes happening expresding also in somatic ways. This girl at the gasstation reacted all receptive. Its making me depressed as fuck lmao. Inner and outer dont match at all. External it seems to be strongly congrugent attraction like some honey on my body and what not. Internal there are strong resistance responses. Fucking kill me.
My voice has dropped 2 notches. Totally focussing inwards like some ritual trial. Non serious in ways which seems weird as my expression is low and slightly closed off in ways. Im feeling lightyears more mature. Calling some guys out on their stuff around approach like giving them some mission. The dissonance is strong.
Funny shit now im writing about.
Went out to get some stuff and thought by myself 'you know what? Fuck this. Im a guy im awrsome. Deal with it. Im here to ruin shit and being a playfull guy'
Now get imma van.
On another note. SM lead in seems to make women disarmed and open in my presence. I just have almost no interest like before this neediness collapse. Radical changes happening expresding also in somatic ways. This girl at the gasstation reacted all receptive. Its making me depressed as fuck lmao. Inner and outer dont match at all. External it seems to be strongly congrugent attraction like some honey on my body and what not. Internal there are strong resistance responses. Fucking kill me.
My voice has dropped 2 notches. Totally focussing inwards like some ritual trial. Non serious in ways which seems weird as my expression is low and slightly closed off in ways. Im feeling lightyears more mature. Calling some guys out on their stuff around approach like giving them some mission. The dissonance is strong.
Funny shit now im writing about.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
