day 9
Some deep things are touched upon. \nreakdown and depression session, yet shimering under the surface is gold. Its worth it in the end and my worl view seems to be seriously challenged, some strong nice guy stuff l"seeing the world through rose glasses" layers, I now know this was Always there yet now it is pronounced and its making me shaky as hell, and my subconscious is rebelling against the programming. Had some glances at the gym, this girl kept throwing glances while chatting with some other guy, yet the depression did override me escalating into down talk and resentment towards myself. To unroot this stuff is some serious prgress and profound helpfull.
validation vs validated.
Notice an lack of congrugence going on of who I am like having this solid persona and brand, which, now, makes me think how this somewhat affects me as if I have nothing to show for. Possible some deep changes in the self image department. Many fears are crashing in aswell as uncertainties worries and the such about my life and life itself.
Confrontation is low at this point, there seems to be a similarity iand overlapping going on, coming from the same source. ffs, I have had blowouts and they only fuell my game and shit and make me laugh like lmao jeffy style and shit, but wtf.
Still killing it at the gym, training becomes really agressive as of late.
O.A.P.N ( on a positive note ) I starting to find my own charatcristics, traits and style. Im feeling way different and cant pinpoint it. cool.
Edit 1: nootropics have my attention.
+ stack up on vitamins
+ stack up on omega fish oils
+ stack up on more brainfuel
+ stack up on zma bcaa
Some deep things are touched upon. \nreakdown and depression session, yet shimering under the surface is gold. Its worth it in the end and my worl view seems to be seriously challenged, some strong nice guy stuff l"seeing the world through rose glasses" layers, I now know this was Always there yet now it is pronounced and its making me shaky as hell, and my subconscious is rebelling against the programming. Had some glances at the gym, this girl kept throwing glances while chatting with some other guy, yet the depression did override me escalating into down talk and resentment towards myself. To unroot this stuff is some serious prgress and profound helpfull.
validation vs validated.
Notice an lack of congrugence going on of who I am like having this solid persona and brand, which, now, makes me think how this somewhat affects me as if I have nothing to show for. Possible some deep changes in the self image department. Many fears are crashing in aswell as uncertainties worries and the such about my life and life itself.
Confrontation is low at this point, there seems to be a similarity iand overlapping going on, coming from the same source. ffs, I have had blowouts and they only fuell my game and shit and make me laugh like lmao jeffy style and shit, but wtf.
Still killing it at the gym, training becomes really agressive as of late.
O.A.P.N ( on a positive note ) I starting to find my own charatcristics, traits and style. Im feeling way different and cant pinpoint it. cool.
Edit 1: nootropics have my attention.
+ stack up on vitamins
+ stack up on omega fish oils
+ stack up on more brainfuel
+ stack up on zma bcaa
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
