Alpha Female?? Anyone?

[Jackie]

Well, I did a bad thing. I forgot to charge my ipod for a few days and was out of town, so I didn't get any AF in. I noticed a difference actually. I was suddenly more depressed and overly sensitive. It was like all the things I'd felt I was making progress on came rushing back with more intensity. I've been questioning myself too much and second guessing. It came out mostly when I was learning a new massage technique in class the other night and I had the instructor and a few other students watching me intently the whole time and critiquing. I went home really feeling like I wasn't going to be a good massage therapist. That's ridiculous too because that's what we do in school is give each other ongoing feedback and ways we can improve. I think it was the fact that I had all 3 making comments at the same time, so it felt kind of like they were ganging up on me where when it was their turns, everyone was socializing and not so intent on their techniques. I felt a little singled out, but looking back I realize that wasn't the case. It also doesn't help that I'm on my cycle right now, so I think that's not helping, as well as missing my fiance who is away for 10 days. Probably just a bad combo. AF is supposed to help with hormone regulation, but since I wasn't listening to it for awhile, can't expect much there.

First thing last night when I got home was charge up my ipod and I got in a full night of listening. Head feels really heavy.

Hopefully I'll kick this soon.