Alpha Female: Melissa's Journal

[Sphe]

Hello everyone. I'm sharing this journal on behalf of my sister, a technophobe, who was kind enough to permit me to share her experiences on the forum.   I'll be copying and pasting from the word docs she sends me (so it'll be written in the first person) She began listening to AF on the 31st of August 2019. Here we go....

[Shannon]

Welcome to both of you!

[Sphe]

Initially I set my sites on a subliminal from a different vendor and kept emailing back and forth with their support team to get as much information on it as I could. I'll admit, I was put off by how much emphasis this vendor put on male oriented subliminals. There was literally only one subliminal that was aimed at women. Even then, the product description was shoddy, uninformative and just reiterated what I'd noticed initially but tried to ignore: Women's needs aren't a priority to and are blatantly ignored by the company. As the days passed, I started seeing a lot of recurring numbers, mainly recurring 1s, 2s, and the occasional 3s. I'd see these numbers more than once per day, on consecutive days.I didn't know what it meant, I just remember hearing somewhere that it had something to do with the universe... and some sort of spiritual alignment (I don't follow this school of thought so I really don't know about things of that nature). In the midst of me trying to make sense of it all, my brother (from out of nowhere) gifted me with the full six stage set of the Alpha Female subliminal. I was gobsmacked! I hadn't mentioned anything about looking for a subliminal to him, let alone asked him to go out and get me one! I don't know whether it was twin telepathy, or an act of God, all I know is that it was too big a coincidence to ignore...


Day 10
Ten days ago (31/08/19) I started listening to AF. I figured I'd hold off on writing anything until I experienced something worth noting. I was a bit reluctant to listen to it because in the past I'd had some not so great experiences with "Absolute Self-confidence" I felt very sad with in a few days of listening this sub (despite following the instructions to the letter and the cessation of the use of any other subliminals/mind programming for over 30 days). With AF however, I haven't experienced this and it's a massive relief. So far I've noticed that I have increased energy; I danced to imaginary music in my kitchen today and worked up quite a sweat - it was fun! I find myself aroused more than normal with "physical evidence" (and thinking about sex more often). Owing to the very strict household I grew up in, sex is not something I openly discussed lest I be called lewd or immoral, and I've been consciously trying to change that mindset (here's to unleashing my inner unicorn). 
I'm more optimistic about the future and I've started making a little more effort to look decent while out running seemingly mundane errands. I've also had two men chat me up (I wasn't attracted to either of them) since I started using the sub. xxxxxxx

[Sphe]

Day 17
It's a little over a week before my menses are scheduled to hit, and usually by this time I feel majorly depressed, fatigued and just want to dispose of my body because I feel like a stranger in it, not to mention the excessive desire to eat nonsense. I'll admit, I have been eating utter rubbish for the past few days, but, I am not the sad, miserable, anxious mess I dread turning into every month! I swear, I'd intended to see a professional this month about the debilitating pms symptoms I'd been experiencing, and then this gem ?  came along. I'm so grateful for the sub - so grateful to feel normal. I have also noticed that I need less sleep since using the sub. Five hours is sufficient and I wake up automatically; no need for alarms or pleading with myself to get up.Today though, I took a nap at midday and it was amazing. I fell into a deep sleep and woke up feeling refreshed. xxxxxxx

[Sphe]

Day 20
Holy moley! I. Said. "No"! I'd always struggled with telling people no, especially my family. I would be riddled with guilt, and just afraid of disappointing people and coming off as selfish. Infact, if a "no" was absolutely inevitable, I'd find myself rehearsing how to say it (over and over) and anxiety would start to build as well. This meant that I harboured a lot of resentment toward myself for being weak and just not standing up for myself. 
Today however, my mother asked me for a favour that would have been a real inconvenience to me, and I answered "no" instantly. She tried to goad me into it by saying that it would only be for a day - still I stood my ground. It felt good saying no. Admittedly I felt a pang of guilt minutes later, I almost back paddled - but I didn't! This is major progress for me. xxxxxxx 

[Sphe]

Day 23

My menses started today. I haven't had any of the abdominal cramps that I usually get preceding and during my period. Mood is stable, no sugary cravings. I'm still getting about 4 - 5 hours of sleep at night and take the occasional nap during the day.[ sidebar: I'm certain that this has nothing to do with the subliminal, but recently my eyes are sensitive to natural light. It stings my eyes even when I'm indoors] During the day, I avoid the windows and keep the curtains shut. If this is me turning into a vampire, I'll probably starve to death: I can't stand the sight of blood. xxxxxxx

[Shannon]

Oh, I forgot all about the work I out into this program to help women have easier menstruations. Very pleasing to see it's helping you!

Depression on ASC indicates that the program was touching on something you were too afraid to execute. It is usually an issue with feeling guilty for "taking up your own space". ASC is one of the first 5G subliminals, and will be the first one replaced when I am finished with 6G.

It is pleasing to see that you are benefiting from this program. As for your brother gifting it to you, that's just how things work. When you ask for something the right way (focus on it without resistance to it), it shows up in your life.

[Sphe]

Oh, I forgot all about the work I out into this program to help women have easier menstruations.  Very pleasing to see it's helping you!

Depression on ASC indicates that the program was touching on something you were too afraid to execute.  It is usually an issue with feeling guilty for "taking up your own space".  ASC is one of the first 5G subliminals, and will be the first one replaced when I am finished with 6G.  

It is pleasing to see that you are benefiting from this program.  As for your brother gifting it to you, that's just how things work.  When you ask for something the right way (focus on it without resistance to it), it shows up in your life.

Thanks for shedding some light on why ASC may have illicited the type of response that it did. Ultimately, I believe it was best for her to quit the programme, given that she had struggled with depression in the past. Her biggest fear was finding herself back in that dark place she fought so hard to leave. Hopefully, once she's completed AF, she'll be able to run other programmes without incident.

[Shannon]

I am working on 6th Generation technology because what I found was that in a lot of cases, 5G was powerful enough to trigger resistance but not powerful enough to get past it.  The depression response to ASC would be an example of that.  Depression is usually the subconscious fighting the program and losing the battle slowly, so it expresses hopelessness and tries to communicate that to the conscious and discourage further use by making the experience as uncomfortable as possible at the conscious level.  I don't recommend that she continue using ASC 5G if that was her response.  

5.5G and 5.75G are making major strides forward in those directions, so programs from those generations should by and large be much more effective for her.

[Sphe]

Day 26
Last night I had a nightmare. I woke up screaming. I was short of breath and my heart was beating out of my chest. I sat up in bed shaking for a good while before taking some Valerian root (a natural over the counter calmative). I don't remember the dream, but it was absolutely petrifying.

[Sphe]

Day 29
There's this vlogger/comedienne I follow. Her's is satirical brand of humour dealing mainly with corrupt government practices and racism. She recently released a book and I got around to reading it yesterday. The contents of the book were amusing... at first... and then I found myself getting riled up as I went further into the book. I was upset by statements I wouldn't have taken offence to in the past, infact I'd have probably found them funny. Then it occurred to me that I'd laughed at things of that nature in the past, not because I was genuinely amused by them but because I'd resigned myself to thinking that the world worked a certain way, that there was nothing I could do about it, and I just had to accept it. Me laughing was me sticking my head in the sand, and hoping nobody saw me or how I truly felt about certain matters. I got upset because something in me told me that it wasn't okay; denouncing everything you hold dear, purging yourself of who you really are in order to fit in with a crowd touted as elite. I realised that there are other ways of getting what I want or where I want in life, and I don't have to lie or keep up a facade to do it. The notion that the only way to achieve success (in its many capacities) is to be a phony, really got me going, and I decided right then and there that I wouldn't subscribe to it. I'm better than that. I don't need to lie or be a pretender to reach my aspirations. I'll be damned if I let someone else's preference become my law. 
It's not a huge step, but it's a significant one: being able to tell right from wrong, and choosing what's right. xxxxxxx

[Shannon]

It sounds pretty big to me!

[Have at ye]

Indeed.

[Sphe]

[The end of this entry made me laugh]
...
Stage 2


Day 8

I prefer to wait atleast a week or so after starting a new stage before weighing in, so this is what I've noticed so far: I feel anxious in the mornings. I'll open my eyes and find that my pulse and breathing is erratic and I'm filled with dread. It usually starts to subside when I get out of bed and start my daily routine. For the past three days however, the anxietude and feelings of dread have lingered throughout the day with a splash of irritability. I've also been apathetic when it comes to my food choices; where I'm usually planning ahead and doing meal prep ahead of time, I find myself eating nonsense, because it's convenient and I just don't care how it'll affect my body later. I feel gloomy, with nothing to look forward to - I resent feeling this way. Despite the internal struggle, I understand that the goal is to undo years of damage and clear out the clutter that's accumulated over a lifetime... I mean superheroes take serums, get exposed to radiation, get bitten by souped up bugs, get lost in some remote location and meet a sage bearded man, collect ALL seven dragon balls, or their home explodes and they're forced to relocate - I digress. The point is, it's difficult, but they make it through, and come out the other side better than ever. I'm going to soldier on, take my serum and be an Alpha Female.