Stage 3 day 52
My rebirth process is apparently still taking effect as another electronic item of mine has stopped working and needed to be replaced.
This time was the mp3 player i use to play subs on. I've had it ever since I started using Shannon's subs, and darn thing just stopped holding a charge. Almost every major piece of electronics i use has been replaced now, whether i consciously wanted it or not (phone, computer, headphones, speakers, and now mp3 player - all replaced within a 3 - 4 month span).
A big shift has occurred to my mindset over the past month. I am now firmly aimed at getting a car and I am now open to moving to Las Vegas to help with my business taxes (no state taxes there for LLC's).
My original thought was to get a car when my next relationship started. I would just explain my situation with renting cars weekly and all would be good.
But then I shifted, because having a car (paid off in full, no payments) is a form of empowerment. I'm not at the mercy of returning the damn thing at Saturday each week before 12 pm.
I'm a bit up in the air about when to move, however. My current situation really isn't that bad, but the energy of those around me isn't the best. It would require a big shift to me to move, and previously i thought i'd move in with my next girl friend just to make the transition more justified, but I think now that moving outside of my hometown will be best. I'm just not sure WHEN that would happen.
The priority for now, though, is definitely getting my car and to stop relying on rentals. This was a comfort for years, but really, change is not about comfort. It's about pushing and stretching to become the person you want to be, and often enough the ego has incredibly crafty ways of keep you down. So much so that you often have no idea it's keeping you down until after the fact.
I feel now that the next few years will be rough, but more in the way that change and evolving is rough. Like pushing yourself to exercise after a long day at work; sometimes that's the last f*cking thing you want to do, but it's needed to help you push forward. And because you know you're not doing yourself a favor by skipping the hard work.
I feel like I'm at the end of one long ass day, but a period of reset and refresh is coming to help me get ready for the next level.
Regarding my extended run of stage 3 though...it actually feels pretty darn good. It feels like I'm assimilating it far more than a simple 32 day run. Like having a 50 minute class at school; just long enough to do a few small exercises but not enough time to really dig into the material.
Maybe I'm wrong on that last analogy since some of those classes felt like they took f*cking forever, but whatever. You get what i mean.
My rebirth process is apparently still taking effect as another electronic item of mine has stopped working and needed to be replaced.
This time was the mp3 player i use to play subs on. I've had it ever since I started using Shannon's subs, and darn thing just stopped holding a charge. Almost every major piece of electronics i use has been replaced now, whether i consciously wanted it or not (phone, computer, headphones, speakers, and now mp3 player - all replaced within a 3 - 4 month span).
A big shift has occurred to my mindset over the past month. I am now firmly aimed at getting a car and I am now open to moving to Las Vegas to help with my business taxes (no state taxes there for LLC's).
My original thought was to get a car when my next relationship started. I would just explain my situation with renting cars weekly and all would be good.
But then I shifted, because having a car (paid off in full, no payments) is a form of empowerment. I'm not at the mercy of returning the damn thing at Saturday each week before 12 pm.
I'm a bit up in the air about when to move, however. My current situation really isn't that bad, but the energy of those around me isn't the best. It would require a big shift to me to move, and previously i thought i'd move in with my next girl friend just to make the transition more justified, but I think now that moving outside of my hometown will be best. I'm just not sure WHEN that would happen.
The priority for now, though, is definitely getting my car and to stop relying on rentals. This was a comfort for years, but really, change is not about comfort. It's about pushing and stretching to become the person you want to be, and often enough the ego has incredibly crafty ways of keep you down. So much so that you often have no idea it's keeping you down until after the fact.
I feel now that the next few years will be rough, but more in the way that change and evolving is rough. Like pushing yourself to exercise after a long day at work; sometimes that's the last f*cking thing you want to do, but it's needed to help you push forward. And because you know you're not doing yourself a favor by skipping the hard work.
I feel like I'm at the end of one long ass day, but a period of reset and refresh is coming to help me get ready for the next level.
Regarding my extended run of stage 3 though...it actually feels pretty darn good. It feels like I'm assimilating it far more than a simple 32 day run. Like having a 50 minute class at school; just long enough to do a few small exercises but not enough time to really dig into the material.
Maybe I'm wrong on that last analogy since some of those classes felt like they took f*cking forever, but whatever. You get what i mean.
