10-11-2016, 12:13 PM
(10-11-2016, 10:33 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote: I noticed that creative decisions on E2 were a lot easier for my writing, too. As soon as I switched to ASC I actually felt like I had less faith in my decision making, not more. I think E2 does a good job of keeping you very in-tune with yourself once you've been listening to it for a while. It kind of makes me want to go back to E2 and finish my training with that. I've been listening at lower volumes for the past few hours since I read your post mentioning that trick and have actually been feeling a lot less tension/resistance.
I also have been feeling very crazed/frantic/fearful and very questioning about my worth in society as related to my masculinity. I feel like I can't really accomplish anything in my life because I'm just not what most people look for in a "man". Holding down jobs, accomplishing life goals, even pleasuring a woman, all feel like complete and total impossibilities because I know deep down inside that when people look at me they immediately notice that I'm not what a man should be, and whether they're aware of it or not, they're judging me as 'inadequate'.
I'm probably sticking with E2 for the long run for this reason alone. My music is one of the most important things in my life and the more I'm able to get what's in my head out into the real world the happier I'll be. Glad the tip helped though.
I know how you feel. It's still early to tell, but since dropping my hours on E2 those kind of thoughts don't hold the power they once did. It's hard to describe but it's like when you start generating your own self worth independent of the outside world you gain this freedom. You don't feel like a slave with your self worth bound to your job, position in society, popularity, how many women you've had sex with, etc. We all know logically that we shouldn't tie our self worth to these things, but emotionally a lot of us do. That's why E2 is so important, it breaks you away from that on a level your conscious mind usually can't touch. I know you're running ASC, but if you wanted to give E2 another shot I'd definitely say decrease the exposure. If you think about it this new tech is 1 hour = 6.5 hours. Back when I was running 4G subs I'd get about 8 hours a night of exposure and sometimes I was completely drained. Theoretically you could listen once per day to E2 and still get massive benefits. A lot of it is just old habits and adjusting to this new tech. Less really is more.
