Okay. Let's recap. So over the weekend, I feel pretty anxiety-free around my family, which was an improvement. I felt less GSF in general in public, especially when I get turned on, which was an improvement. I even get back to my place and even knowing that I still have those stupid roommates of mine who are annoying, I still had that content/everything is gonna be good feeling. I went to sleep and had such a great sleep despite getting to bed later than expected!
Today everything was going fine. Until I get an email from a teacher about how I have to lead a discussion in class this week. It soon went to the back of my mind and I didn't focus on it. Then I get to my dance class, and repeatedly failed to do the moves we were being taught, only doing it right a few times with bad form. And that's when it ALL went to shit. I didn't wanna be there, I didn't wanna talk to anyone, and I wanted to set the place on fire. COME ON! I just had a weekend that made me feel like I made progress and then this shit happens. GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK!
It seems like it's the environment that's triggering me. This is such BS. Something else that pissed me off was on the bus ride home, some girl was on the phone, telling her girlfriend about how she doesn't like some guy because he wears skinny jeans! I wanted to slap her and tell her STFU! It really annoyed me.
Unrelated
I'm THIS close to running DMSI. My life, fucking people, and E2 are starting to piss me off. I want run DMSI and be the singing happy sexy mofo I know I am with ultra celebrity treatment. E2 is irritating me. I've been healing for 7 fucking months. This shit is old. I'm ready to move on and enjoy my college life. I'm sick of putting it on hold. I'm sick of dealing with emotional shit while trying to be attentive and alert for all the shit I have to do. And I'm sick of not progressing in the areas of my life that are important to me. And most of all I'm sick as fuck of not having the social life that I could if I didn't have so much shit to do.
P.S. Just started reading reality transurfing. I'm gonna transurf out of this one asap.
Today everything was going fine. Until I get an email from a teacher about how I have to lead a discussion in class this week. It soon went to the back of my mind and I didn't focus on it. Then I get to my dance class, and repeatedly failed to do the moves we were being taught, only doing it right a few times with bad form. And that's when it ALL went to shit. I didn't wanna be there, I didn't wanna talk to anyone, and I wanted to set the place on fire. COME ON! I just had a weekend that made me feel like I made progress and then this shit happens. GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK!
It seems like it's the environment that's triggering me. This is such BS. Something else that pissed me off was on the bus ride home, some girl was on the phone, telling her girlfriend about how she doesn't like some guy because he wears skinny jeans! I wanted to slap her and tell her STFU! It really annoyed me.
Unrelated
I'm THIS close to running DMSI. My life, fucking people, and E2 are starting to piss me off. I want run DMSI and be the singing happy sexy mofo I know I am with ultra celebrity treatment. E2 is irritating me. I've been healing for 7 fucking months. This shit is old. I'm ready to move on and enjoy my college life. I'm sick of putting it on hold. I'm sick of dealing with emotional shit while trying to be attentive and alert for all the shit I have to do. And I'm sick of not progressing in the areas of my life that are important to me. And most of all I'm sick as fuck of not having the social life that I could if I didn't have so much shit to do.
P.S. Just started reading reality transurfing. I'm gonna transurf out of this one asap.
