Today was okay. I just felt a bit irritated in the background though.
I just think that with enough willpower anything should be possible. But it seems like that isn't the case. I'm just specifically thinking of my past with girls. I was shy as kid, the hottest girls flocked to me in middle school but I didn't see it at that time and was too shy and afraid to do anything. I failed. I did what I thought was the right thing to do relating to girls in high school. And failed. I came to college and got my shit together, come to cusp of success repeatedly with hot girls. But still somehow, almost like some force was holding me back, failed. No one can tell me anything about willpower. But I see that willpower isn't the unstoppable thing I've always thought it to be. I thought willpower and correct actions always guaranteed results, but I was wrong. I don't care what others say. Being "cool" or "popular" doesn't really mean shit with regards to women.
I'm really just thinking about jumping ship to DMSI any day now. I feel like just beating a punching bag until I'm tired. I didn't take action today and I'm a bit irritated by that. I'm gonna do my workout now.
Unrelated
Shannon, I don't think you read user's journals outside of the DMSI journals. Makes sense since you only have so much time in a day and so much work to do. But if you read this, thanks for doing what you can to change the dynamics between men and women via DMSI. Seriously, just the fact that you're actually doing something like this is amazing. The only thing I have to say is: Please, please, make it work
Edit: I noticed when doing my short workouts, I feel like a primal animal instinct coming to surface. Maybe that's because it's been a while. In the past, I had to focus on it to get into it. Today it was just there
Also, I've been trying to find how to have true power. I want to have true power. To be recognized as a powerful entity. To have the power to easily shift unfavorable circumstances into my favor. To be able to simply bring about whatever it is that I choose in my life. I thought willpower was true power, but no true power is something else.
I just think that with enough willpower anything should be possible. But it seems like that isn't the case. I'm just specifically thinking of my past with girls. I was shy as kid, the hottest girls flocked to me in middle school but I didn't see it at that time and was too shy and afraid to do anything. I failed. I did what I thought was the right thing to do relating to girls in high school. And failed. I came to college and got my shit together, come to cusp of success repeatedly with hot girls. But still somehow, almost like some force was holding me back, failed. No one can tell me anything about willpower. But I see that willpower isn't the unstoppable thing I've always thought it to be. I thought willpower and correct actions always guaranteed results, but I was wrong. I don't care what others say. Being "cool" or "popular" doesn't really mean shit with regards to women.
I'm really just thinking about jumping ship to DMSI any day now. I feel like just beating a punching bag until I'm tired. I didn't take action today and I'm a bit irritated by that. I'm gonna do my workout now.
Unrelated
Shannon, I don't think you read user's journals outside of the DMSI journals. Makes sense since you only have so much time in a day and so much work to do. But if you read this, thanks for doing what you can to change the dynamics between men and women via DMSI. Seriously, just the fact that you're actually doing something like this is amazing. The only thing I have to say is: Please, please, make it work
Edit: I noticed when doing my short workouts, I feel like a primal animal instinct coming to surface. Maybe that's because it's been a while. In the past, I had to focus on it to get into it. Today it was just there
Also, I've been trying to find how to have true power. I want to have true power. To be recognized as a powerful entity. To have the power to easily shift unfavorable circumstances into my favor. To be able to simply bring about whatever it is that I choose in my life. I thought willpower was true power, but no true power is something else.
