This may sound redundant considering it's approaching my 7th month on this thing, but I think that one more month with hardcore weekend listening should get me fully past whatever is left that DMSI doesn't address.
I realized today that E2 won't make my workload in class easier. It's not made to make things easy in life for me. It's not designed to transform my life into what I would consider perfect. It's not going to burn my fat for me. And it's not going to make girls flock.
It's simply designed to heal past traumas and have the user overcome guilt, fear, and shame and all varieties that be present. That's all.
Today I encountered some resistance. I was good monday and yesterday with minimal amounts of resistance. But today it messed with my flow. A little thing at the beginning of the day was the spark and it was kinda in the background for the rest of the day. Little things added on to it. I saw one of the hottest girls today. I've seen her around, but I was headed to do something right then and I honestly just don't want to deal with social problems if things don't work out (we're in same major, it's a small group and people talk). And we have new dancing stuff to do in my class now and I still need to read the script for the production I'm in and learn lines...
Unrelated
Seriously, when I use DMSI, my "favorite" girls should just pop up out of nowhere and be doing everything in their power to bed me. I legit intend for this to happen. I'd be uber satisfied with DMSI if it did this!
I'm still working on accepting the feeling of being attracted. I don't know how to explain it. But I just think if someone is attracted to another person that isn't attracted to them, then they seem weak and are "losing". If two people are mutually attracted to each other, both are winning, and it's pleasurable. It's not weak then, it's almost dreamlike. I just want to pass by this asap.
P.S. I'm really weighing my options. If I go a full 8 months on E2, wait 10 days and start DMSI, I'd only have about 3 weeks before the break. OR I can do the full 9 months of E2, wait 10 days, and then go on to DMSI and get a month of it in before classes for next year start. Decisions decisions...in my dance class, it's almost all girls. That would be SO MUCH fun if DMSI started working before this semester was over...
I realized today that E2 won't make my workload in class easier. It's not made to make things easy in life for me. It's not designed to transform my life into what I would consider perfect. It's not going to burn my fat for me. And it's not going to make girls flock.
It's simply designed to heal past traumas and have the user overcome guilt, fear, and shame and all varieties that be present. That's all.
Today I encountered some resistance. I was good monday and yesterday with minimal amounts of resistance. But today it messed with my flow. A little thing at the beginning of the day was the spark and it was kinda in the background for the rest of the day. Little things added on to it. I saw one of the hottest girls today. I've seen her around, but I was headed to do something right then and I honestly just don't want to deal with social problems if things don't work out (we're in same major, it's a small group and people talk). And we have new dancing stuff to do in my class now and I still need to read the script for the production I'm in and learn lines...
Unrelated
Seriously, when I use DMSI, my "favorite" girls should just pop up out of nowhere and be doing everything in their power to bed me. I legit intend for this to happen. I'd be uber satisfied with DMSI if it did this!
I'm still working on accepting the feeling of being attracted. I don't know how to explain it. But I just think if someone is attracted to another person that isn't attracted to them, then they seem weak and are "losing". If two people are mutually attracted to each other, both are winning, and it's pleasurable. It's not weak then, it's almost dreamlike. I just want to pass by this asap.
P.S. I'm really weighing my options. If I go a full 8 months on E2, wait 10 days and start DMSI, I'd only have about 3 weeks before the break. OR I can do the full 9 months of E2, wait 10 days, and then go on to DMSI and get a month of it in before classes for next year start. Decisions decisions...in my dance class, it's almost all girls. That would be SO MUCH fun if DMSI started working before this semester was over...
