09-04-2016, 11:22 PM
Stage 3 day 4
The tension and resistance I'm feeling right now is a culmination of several things...
For one, I'm not where I'd like to be in my traffic biz and that'll have to change soon.
Second (and this is the more aggravating of the two issues), I almost feel like I don't have a copy coach anymore simply because it takes him weeks now to respond.
I know, generally, things will be okay in the long run because from past experience I know every slow period is followed by flourishing times.
It just sucks beyond belief to be sitting in such low energy.
Another development that rocked my world within the past week (I'm just now feeling the anguish of it) is that two close relations in my life have been diagnosed with cancer: my father and another close friend.
My dad is being a warrior about the whole thing, with a sort of "Screw it, if it's my time, it's my time" carefree sort of attitude. If he hadn't told me what the doctor told him I'd have never known the diagnosis. I'm the only one reacting emotionally to the whole thing. He just carries on like it's business as usual.
So, I think it's fair to say there's a lot on my mind.
I can already kind of feel Stage 3 pushing and prodding me to think bigger and to feel uneasy about being average. Not that I am average, just that the mindset of settling down and being content is not an option right now, which is a pretty strong ideological shift considering that I appear to be in a low energy cycle (lots of bad crap happening).
I do still feel as if I'm walking through mud. But I also still think that I'm on the right track.
I was pulled to read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. I enjoyed that so i also picked up his "Turning Pro" and "Do The Work!" which all turned out to be relatively congruent to my situation.
The themes are about plowing through regardless of what happens, which is pretty much what i have to do.
Lots and lots and lots of resistance coming my way BUT there's no other way except forward.
The tension and resistance I'm feeling right now is a culmination of several things...
For one, I'm not where I'd like to be in my traffic biz and that'll have to change soon.
Second (and this is the more aggravating of the two issues), I almost feel like I don't have a copy coach anymore simply because it takes him weeks now to respond.
I know, generally, things will be okay in the long run because from past experience I know every slow period is followed by flourishing times.
It just sucks beyond belief to be sitting in such low energy.
Another development that rocked my world within the past week (I'm just now feeling the anguish of it) is that two close relations in my life have been diagnosed with cancer: my father and another close friend.
My dad is being a warrior about the whole thing, with a sort of "Screw it, if it's my time, it's my time" carefree sort of attitude. If he hadn't told me what the doctor told him I'd have never known the diagnosis. I'm the only one reacting emotionally to the whole thing. He just carries on like it's business as usual.
So, I think it's fair to say there's a lot on my mind.
I can already kind of feel Stage 3 pushing and prodding me to think bigger and to feel uneasy about being average. Not that I am average, just that the mindset of settling down and being content is not an option right now, which is a pretty strong ideological shift considering that I appear to be in a low energy cycle (lots of bad crap happening).
I do still feel as if I'm walking through mud. But I also still think that I'm on the right track.
I was pulled to read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. I enjoyed that so i also picked up his "Turning Pro" and "Do The Work!" which all turned out to be relatively congruent to my situation.
The themes are about plowing through regardless of what happens, which is pretty much what i have to do.
Lots and lots and lots of resistance coming my way BUT there's no other way except forward.
