08-29-2016, 03:45 PM
Notes to self:
8/25-8/28
-started feeling more like myself, but I'm different
-it feels different being me now. It's like I can in my mind really see the blown totally healed version of myself. I know that being free from all negative emotions like guilt, shame, and fear, would set me free to just express myself. My behavior would be completely based on what I enjoy doing and what I choose to do, nothing holding me back
-it's like the emotions of guilt, shame, and fear have weakened over the (almost) 6 months
-I feel like I'd definitely, without a doubt, have everything healed and all positive programming solidified if I ran it for 2 years straight (maybe sooner). But that's not going to happen, I'm sticking to just a year
Things to be worked on:
-Everyday life seems to be more boring than usual. I'd usually be doing exciting things pretty often if not daily like meeting new people, making plans with girls, and hanging out with friends. Haven't been doing as much of that recently
-The whole cycle with girls seems to breaking. It's not broken yet. But I feel like it's close
-Sometimes I still see the down sides to things. It's not as emotionally painful as it has been in the past, but it's still there
-I feel like people manifest into my life, but the manifestation only happens halfway. Like they don't become a friend or a part of my life. It also seems like I cross paths with my older friends more often
The Good:
-Negative emotions are definitely weaker now than 6 months ago. Solid
-My emotional stability has improved
-I know the program actually is helping me
-It seems like guys acknowledge/initiate with me socially occasionally now (which almost never happened before)
-MAYBE, not sure, but MAYBE things have improved regarding interactions with girls. This is a really hard one to mention. In my mind, things haven't been cleared/healed/corrected until I can clearly see and experience hot girls I'm attracted to feeling mutual about it
Plan
Over the past few days of doing only 2 loops of E2, I've been able to get an idea of what my new baseline is. Seems like if I run too many hours, I become emotionally numb to life. Too few hours and the negative stuff is more easy to see (like it was today). I'll be aiming for somewhere between 8-12 hours a day, with the majority of hours coming from the masked track.
8/25-8/28
-started feeling more like myself, but I'm different
-it feels different being me now. It's like I can in my mind really see the blown totally healed version of myself. I know that being free from all negative emotions like guilt, shame, and fear, would set me free to just express myself. My behavior would be completely based on what I enjoy doing and what I choose to do, nothing holding me back
-it's like the emotions of guilt, shame, and fear have weakened over the (almost) 6 months
-I feel like I'd definitely, without a doubt, have everything healed and all positive programming solidified if I ran it for 2 years straight (maybe sooner). But that's not going to happen, I'm sticking to just a year
Things to be worked on:
-Everyday life seems to be more boring than usual. I'd usually be doing exciting things pretty often if not daily like meeting new people, making plans with girls, and hanging out with friends. Haven't been doing as much of that recently
-The whole cycle with girls seems to breaking. It's not broken yet. But I feel like it's close
-Sometimes I still see the down sides to things. It's not as emotionally painful as it has been in the past, but it's still there
-I feel like people manifest into my life, but the manifestation only happens halfway. Like they don't become a friend or a part of my life. It also seems like I cross paths with my older friends more often
The Good:
-Negative emotions are definitely weaker now than 6 months ago. Solid
-My emotional stability has improved
-I know the program actually is helping me
-It seems like guys acknowledge/initiate with me socially occasionally now (which almost never happened before)
-MAYBE, not sure, but MAYBE things have improved regarding interactions with girls. This is a really hard one to mention. In my mind, things haven't been cleared/healed/corrected until I can clearly see and experience hot girls I'm attracted to feeling mutual about it
Plan
Over the past few days of doing only 2 loops of E2, I've been able to get an idea of what my new baseline is. Seems like if I run too many hours, I become emotionally numb to life. Too few hours and the negative stuff is more easy to see (like it was today). I'll be aiming for somewhere between 8-12 hours a day, with the majority of hours coming from the masked track.
