08-16-2016, 10:15 AM
I believe that the most important part of a girl in the end having sex with you is that she has to trust you. Sure you can create attraction and have fun, but if she won't trust you, you will have a harder time for her feeling safe to join to back home or wherever you are going.
She need to feel safe that you won't talk about her behind her back, that you won't be mean to her (not in a joking kind of way, but really being a bad guy). She don't have to believe that you are the price that will save her and fulfill all her desires, but she need to have some basic sense of trust. If that is there, like a girlfriend would trust you, well then escalation wouldn't be a problem, would it?
Trust is key in most areas I believe, and that is probably why self confident guys are desired, however those with real confidence is quiet rare. I know a couple but what I see much is superficial confidence, which appeal to women in the way that "this guy is probably sought after by many others and looked up to" and then take a "shortcut" to her affection.
This work, however it is a shaky road to travel for us guys, because then you have:
1) Based your attraction on something that is based on externalities, rather than more "core" factors such as real confidence, or a warm personality (which is also trustworthy but in another way)
2) Risked attracting a girl/women/female/whatever label you use which is attracted to "status" and to stuff that is seen as special by others, rather than genuine factors. The risk with this is that the girl might be basing her well being on you, and therefore you are not only setting up something on shaky grounds, but you are also helping her reinforce this behavior and thus damaging her belief system even more. And when you loose your status (which you will do at some point) she will need to find another source of her self-worth, and you will feel like shit because you have started to base your self-worth on her, and you lost your status and you are then, more or less, fucked and have to start over building your self esteem on internal factors.
This belong in my journal and not here. Excuse me gentlemen.
She need to feel safe that you won't talk about her behind her back, that you won't be mean to her (not in a joking kind of way, but really being a bad guy). She don't have to believe that you are the price that will save her and fulfill all her desires, but she need to have some basic sense of trust. If that is there, like a girlfriend would trust you, well then escalation wouldn't be a problem, would it?
Trust is key in most areas I believe, and that is probably why self confident guys are desired, however those with real confidence is quiet rare. I know a couple but what I see much is superficial confidence, which appeal to women in the way that "this guy is probably sought after by many others and looked up to" and then take a "shortcut" to her affection.
This work, however it is a shaky road to travel for us guys, because then you have:
1) Based your attraction on something that is based on externalities, rather than more "core" factors such as real confidence, or a warm personality (which is also trustworthy but in another way)
2) Risked attracting a girl/women/female/whatever label you use which is attracted to "status" and to stuff that is seen as special by others, rather than genuine factors. The risk with this is that the girl might be basing her well being on you, and therefore you are not only setting up something on shaky grounds, but you are also helping her reinforce this behavior and thus damaging her belief system even more. And when you loose your status (which you will do at some point) she will need to find another source of her self-worth, and you will feel like shit because you have started to base your self-worth on her, and you lost your status and you are then, more or less, fucked and have to start over building your self esteem on internal factors.
This belong in my journal and not here. Excuse me gentlemen.
