E 2.0 Day 32
This past month has been pretty intense.
I'm more resilient and collected now, but technically I'm still going through resistance and a lot of challenges. If i had gone through these same challenges while on BASE, I'd likely be a nervous wreck. Yeah, it's been pretty bad.
I have something like a dream journal i write online, but for some reason I think resistance is even preventing me from accessing that. I just can't access anything in there past this month, which tells me I likely need to let go of a lot of my past (i used to dream and write a lot about past conflict). I've also never experienced a site glitch like that for my dream journal (3+ years of use), so there's something odd going on right now internally with E 2.
E 2 appears to be hitting really deep points such as losing my paypal account (pretty much gone - it's limited and I'm just letting it go at this point), fears about success and acceptance, pleasing others, loving and accepting myself, and a whole host of other things.
I don't want to have to deal with a lot of this on-going recurring crap over the next few years as I expand, which is why I'm pretty much geared up to use E 2 for 3 - 6 months. I'm tired of being tired, of running into mental blockages and past bs that hold me back. My goals are intended to accelerate me forward, but I can't do that if i have bunch of invisible anchors holding me down.
I believe it was on LTU or BASE (can't remember now) but my dog had chewed through part of my speaker wire that i play the silent track on. Well that wire has finally given up after a good 9+ months of use while partially broken, so I've ordered a new speaker that'll hopefully be in by Monday.
Be assured that if E 2 affects you a lot, if you have a lot of garbage that needs to be cleared out, if you're even relatively sensitive or an emotional person, then when the resistance and change comes with E 2 it can pour out in basketball sized friggin pieces of hail. I've asked for change and universe answered with the great flood, washing all the past bs away. The problem is that i can't swim very well, so all these challenges have been driving me nuts. I literally just have to weather the storm, and the new storms headed my way, of which I know there are a few still to come.
This past month has been pretty intense.
I'm more resilient and collected now, but technically I'm still going through resistance and a lot of challenges. If i had gone through these same challenges while on BASE, I'd likely be a nervous wreck. Yeah, it's been pretty bad.
I have something like a dream journal i write online, but for some reason I think resistance is even preventing me from accessing that. I just can't access anything in there past this month, which tells me I likely need to let go of a lot of my past (i used to dream and write a lot about past conflict). I've also never experienced a site glitch like that for my dream journal (3+ years of use), so there's something odd going on right now internally with E 2.
E 2 appears to be hitting really deep points such as losing my paypal account (pretty much gone - it's limited and I'm just letting it go at this point), fears about success and acceptance, pleasing others, loving and accepting myself, and a whole host of other things.
I don't want to have to deal with a lot of this on-going recurring crap over the next few years as I expand, which is why I'm pretty much geared up to use E 2 for 3 - 6 months. I'm tired of being tired, of running into mental blockages and past bs that hold me back. My goals are intended to accelerate me forward, but I can't do that if i have bunch of invisible anchors holding me down.
I believe it was on LTU or BASE (can't remember now) but my dog had chewed through part of my speaker wire that i play the silent track on. Well that wire has finally given up after a good 9+ months of use while partially broken, so I've ordered a new speaker that'll hopefully be in by Monday.
Be assured that if E 2 affects you a lot, if you have a lot of garbage that needs to be cleared out, if you're even relatively sensitive or an emotional person, then when the resistance and change comes with E 2 it can pour out in basketball sized friggin pieces of hail. I've asked for change and universe answered with the great flood, washing all the past bs away. The problem is that i can't swim very well, so all these challenges have been driving me nuts. I literally just have to weather the storm, and the new storms headed my way, of which I know there are a few still to come.
