05-17-2016, 01:48 AM
Day 12
Had an interesting weekend. Went to a get together with some friends for some drinks and stuff. I remember having the urge to get really really drunk and unfortunately I did, to the point of being sick. I went into no memory drunk mode which is always aggressive and was trying to get people to hit me. Didn't hit anyone myself thankfully. I stayed over at there's and left in the morning, got called a "liability" in a playful way but knew deep down it was true. If it stings when they say it then you know there's truth to it.
This is a pattern of mine with alcohol, I LOVE being drunk, but I know if I drink too much I will get aggressive. By too much I mean it takes a lot, with a normal amount I'm very outgoing, friendly and loving. But when I drink I always want to drink more, the drunker I get the harder it is to stop because I forget that the aggressive blackout type drunk is an eventuality. So I won't do it again for about a year, but then in a year I will forget again and it will repeat. I hope I wont, but its happened enough times now where I'm sure it will again.
Two days later I was still feeling a bit shakey and depressive. In my dream I was asleep in bed and it was pitch black and my door opened and I look up and it's a figure dressed all in white, even covering the face, walking like a zombie toward me. The white sheet covering the face falls off and its my mother and shes' acting like the exorcist, possessed and shit, trying to kill me. I'm trying to stop her from killing me and not hurt her at the same time, trying to get her to regain consciousness. I woke up shouting which has never happened to me before.
Sounds like a silly dream looking back now, but at the time it was scary as fuck.
Had an interesting weekend. Went to a get together with some friends for some drinks and stuff. I remember having the urge to get really really drunk and unfortunately I did, to the point of being sick. I went into no memory drunk mode which is always aggressive and was trying to get people to hit me. Didn't hit anyone myself thankfully. I stayed over at there's and left in the morning, got called a "liability" in a playful way but knew deep down it was true. If it stings when they say it then you know there's truth to it.
This is a pattern of mine with alcohol, I LOVE being drunk, but I know if I drink too much I will get aggressive. By too much I mean it takes a lot, with a normal amount I'm very outgoing, friendly and loving. But when I drink I always want to drink more, the drunker I get the harder it is to stop because I forget that the aggressive blackout type drunk is an eventuality. So I won't do it again for about a year, but then in a year I will forget again and it will repeat. I hope I wont, but its happened enough times now where I'm sure it will again.
Two days later I was still feeling a bit shakey and depressive. In my dream I was asleep in bed and it was pitch black and my door opened and I look up and it's a figure dressed all in white, even covering the face, walking like a zombie toward me. The white sheet covering the face falls off and its my mother and shes' acting like the exorcist, possessed and shit, trying to kill me. I'm trying to stop her from killing me and not hurt her at the same time, trying to get her to regain consciousness. I woke up shouting which has never happened to me before.
Sounds like a silly dream looking back now, but at the time it was scary as fuck.
