LTU 5 Emotional Freedom

[Darwinn]

This is my third day on LTU5. The main think I'm noticing is that I'm genuinely more grateful and appreciative of the opportunity to live and breathe.

I made one of my goals to get a better paying job, and I've just been contacted by someone wanting to interview me for a job which will do just that, really though I want the financial freedom to pursue what I've known all my life is my purpose. I'm deciding on whether or not to buy LTU for my partner as well, I want her to benefit in the same way and for us to grow together.

My running continues -  I've not felt sore once, which seems impossible to me. Today for the first time I feel that tiredness I get on subs when change is happening where I don't even want to move.

[RTBoss]

If you live with your partner, it's easy to just run the one copy you purchased on speakers while sleeping. My wife benefitted from my USLM run that way, and it didn't violate AP code.

[Darwinn]

Thanks man - we jus had a kid so avoiding that for now and she's so busy with that though I don't think she'd use it properly if I got it for her (Shannon - LTU for parents would be amazing

[Darwinn]

So it's a few days in. LTU5 is weird..but good

for one thing I really can't take caffeine now. I become almost numb and autistic - i'm assuming that after years of over consumption of it i'd lost sensitivity, but now i'm healing that sensitivity is back. I'm so in the habit though that I have to drink something like peppermint tea or earl grey just to have something to sip on.

I'm not feeling the euphoria of LTU4, I had issues with USLM3 because it left me with a range of emotion which was feeling nothing to great and engaged, in a sense I had a complete negativity shield - which is a bit gross because I wasn't feeling the burn to deal with important issues, instead procrastination was setting in and numbness. LTU5 I'm not numb to the negativity of not doing what I have to do, I do have the ability to go for short term pain and acceptance for long term gain - this is extremely important to me.

I feel like up to USLM 3 I was doing incredibly but then it all just went to shit (in terms of my personal well being, my character - and not in terms of some good luck). I've gone to LTU5 because i'm hoping that with the UM, UD and other goals it will temper the narrowness and non adaptability of USLM which I experience.

also I got honest and realised I don't know jack about doing business myself; I was really fortunate to come across someone willing to coach me for free to getting my first sale online. I feel like for the first time i'm actually on a track where I can actually start something for myself for real - rather than bluster my way through getting investment for some big idea that doesn't have proper foundations. I don't even care if I make a lot of money or not the learning will be invaluable.

[SaltyMeatballs]

Caffeine bro!.. yes, i have also felt less inclined to consume it. There is something dirty about that feeling so I am also looking for alternatives such as tea. You mention that your not feeling euphoric from the program... I think its still a bit early and perhaps after 2-3 months u will start to feel happier on a regular basis. Thats my prediction anyway. Good job anyway.

[Benjamin]

When I was on UD and detoxing some stuff I become pretty sensetive to caffeine, i'd drink it and i'd just feel shut down and my head would go weird.

[Darwinn]

So LTU.

I've been inconsistent in use since I've been travelling, in a sense i'm starting again from scratch with it. Much has gone awry, having a cold, dealing with the after effects of alcohol - which i'm very sensitive to these days, and general depression over the usual; comparison with others etc.

My primary issue remains self esteem and the practice of being conscious, responsible, assertive and responsible - and I roughly figured out the chain of actions or thoughts I go through which means I hit a block with USLM.

First I start having things go well for me, I set goals, start achieving them. Somewhere along the line I lose the part of my self esteem which rests on responsibility and assertiveness. I ignore my own mind, what I can feasibly do and start to rely heavily on the sub to give me what I want. With this, my thought process starts to suffer, because I've somehow given over responsibility or personal power over to the sub to do my thinking for me; with that my identity somehow disappears and i'm not doing anything, I can't 'grieve' over failures or things which are going wrong and move through them to take the lessons because I just ignore things which are going wrong or behaviours which aren't helping me achieve what I need to - there's no emotional penalty for laziness or falling behind, only numbness or brief moments of euphoria.

That basically stays with me, occasionally I switch into an auto pilot mode to start getting things done and that's fantastic, but I end up feeling numb again and the majority of my work is left undone.

I believe much of this stems from a pattern I've developed from being a child among mostly dominating and non encouraging adults, I give up my sovereignty and let someone or something else take the wheel as I have always done, or I actively look for something to hide behind, personal agency, identity and self esteem simply can't survive with that attitude.

I've started again now with the attitude of sub or no sub it's up to me to do what I want to do, and i'm not going to ignore my own consciousness and once again I am fully responsible for my own existence; i'm not owed anything by anyone, nor do I owe anyone anything - what is given from others or by me is voluntary and not obligatory, my only job is to look out for those things which I voluntarily agree to take on, and it is always my choice to let go if and when I want to.

It feels like going back to square one (or rather the mid way realisation I had through doing SE 5.5g. ) regardless its the best place to be - i'm free to go through the difficulty and suffering I choose to go to in order to grow to where I want to grow, or to choose ease, distraction and unconsciousness - the sub is just something I have chosen to use upon this journey, without it I would still need to do the same.

[Shannon]

You can't get the results if you don't use the sub. You stopped using it because it was a threat to your established cycle of self sabotage, I think.

[Darwinn]

I haven’t stopped using it, it’s just been a bit inconsistent, it’s quite possible that it’s helped me to weed out the cycle of self sabotage now - at least I hope, the next weeks should tell a lot.

[Darwinn]

$1500! just as I was gonna get it for my girlfriend haha

So things seem to be getting back on track with regular use of LTU, starting with actively finding myself listing the things i'm grateful for. I'm also automatically finding active ways to look at things and people in a new light, I've been so negative toward and about people lately and it was killing my connection to them; now I find myself listing off all the valuable and good things about them - it's harder to dislike someone when you've reminded yourself of their virtues.

I've got, once again, a number of social events coming up which i'm looking forward to - so will reconnect with a number of friends this month.

Something weird i'm noticing is that as soon as I start to drift off to sleep my mind goes into a crystal clear memory review mode; sorting through people and events in such clear detail it scares me - because it almost feels like it's happening now and that's what I've seen people with things like alzheimers go through.

[Darwinn]

I am so damn tired and dissociated it's unbelievable. At the same time almost every day I have friends wanting to hang out with me (which is nice because I was starting to feel a little unsocial).

I've had more job opportunities, and successful interviews which offer a bit more money. At work though i'm practically not even there - my head is swimming in a cloud of fog. Pointless as it is to raise it, i'll say what others have said in that Some kind of cognitive enhancer/MLS style attitude to learning would have been helpful in this sub.

I'm continuing to notice all the good around me none the less, I regularly list off all that is good in my life and all i'm grateful for. Not much more to add really except if I to accept a new job I won't have much choice but to get back on MLS because I just can't be so dopey when learning a new job and a new set of skills.

[Greenduck]

I am so damn tired and dissociated it's unbelievable. At the same time almost every day I have friends wanting to hang out with me (which is nice because I was starting to feel a little unsocial).

I've had more job opportunities, and successful interviews which offer a bit more money. At work though i'm practically not even there - my head is swimming in a cloud of fog. Pointless as it is to raise it, i'll say what others have said in that Some kind of cognitive enhancer/MLS style attitude to learning would have been helpful in this sub.

I'm continuing to notice all the good around me none the less, I regularly list off all that is good in my life and all i'm grateful for. Not much more to add really except if I to accept a new job I won't have much choice but to get back on MLS because I just can't be so dopey when learning a new job and a new set of skills.

Try cutting back on the loops and maybe lower ehe volume. When I get like hat it's because I'm to much in my head so try connecting to your breath and dropping into your body and see where it takes you and how it make you feel.

[Zane]

I am so damn tired and dissociated it's unbelievable. At the same time almost every day I have friends wanting to hang out with me (which is nice because I was starting to feel a little unsocial).

I've had more job opportunities, and successful interviews which offer a bit more money. At work though i'm practically not even there - my head is swimming in a cloud of fog. Pointless as it is to raise it, i'll say what others have said in that Some kind of cognitive enhancer/MLS style attitude to learning would have been helpful in this sub.

I'm continuing to notice all the good around me none the less, I regularly list off all that is good in my life and all i'm grateful for. Not much more to add really except if I to accept a new job I won't have much choice but to get back on MLS because I just can't be so dopey when learning a new job and a new set of skills.

On USLM3 5 loops would make me foggy and so what I did is listen to 3 loop daily without ASRB Breaks and it working really good. It's really gonna take time getting used to 5 loops.. Brain not on that level right now to handle 5 loops

[Shannon]

I am so damn tired and dissociated it's unbelievable. At the same time almost every day I have friends wanting to hang out with me (which is nice because I was starting to feel a little unsocial).

I've had more job opportunities, and successful interviews which offer a bit more money. At work though i'm practically not even there - my head is swimming in a cloud of fog. Pointless as it is to raise it, i'll say what others have said in that Some kind of cognitive enhancer/MLS style attitude to learning would have been helpful in this sub.

I'm continuing to notice all the good around me none the less, I regularly list off all that is good in my life and all i'm grateful for. Not much more to add really except if I to accept a new job I won't have much choice but to get back on MLS because I just can't be so dopey when learning a new job and a new set of skills.

You're that exhausted, but it would have been a good idea to add even more stuff?  LOL!

It's not that it needs a cognitive enhancer, it's going to be that you are either trying to resist it or you're putting a huge amount of energy to healing something or somethings.  Just keep going.

I don't recommend you do fewer loops, but you are likely to be using it at too high a volume or on too powerful a format.  If you're using it at a volume of above 11/15 on your cell phone, try 11.  If you're using Hybrid, try ultrasonic instead.  I'm finding that ultrasonic at 11/15 is kicking my ass, but not so much that I can't function.

If you think it's resistance, well... that's going to be a hard fight.  I definitely would not reduce the loops if that's the cause.  But LTU5 will eventually win.  Shouldn't be too long, either.