It's been a little over a month since starting E2.
This week was emotionally better overall than the last. I'm noticing that slowly I'm shifting from trying to hold on to feeling good to it being easy for me to feel good throughout the day. The length of my pain body attacks are getting weaker and lasting less time.
Over the past month, I've gotten interested in doing everything I can to raise my vibration and cleanse and take of care of my energy/chakra.
Also, some cool things happened this week.
For the third time, I tried telling one of my close guy friends about all the stuff I've learned about the universe. The first two times, a friend of theirs came in to talk to them or they had to head in a different direction than I was. This time, right as I started telling him, a group of my female friends just show up and say hey to me. I said hey, but that I was busy and I continued to finally tell my friend what I wanted to tell him. He said that I seem happier (which I thought was interesting. I wasn't trying to be happy and I didn't feel happier than what I usually feel when I'm happy). I now tend to snap into positive emotional states easier than before.
There was also a time that I got on this bus to go somewhere to eat. A girl was on the bus too (not that physically attractive to me though). We get to the plaza, and get out. I go get my food and get get back on the next bus which was already there. Then the same girl gets on this bus, we make eye contact, and she starts to laugh after a second. We both thought it was funny we just rode the bus to get food. I had a short convo with her and I didn't even have to try and I didn't feel any anxiety. Also, her laughing was ALMOST her starting a convo with me. I perceived this as physical proof my energy changing for the better.
Today when I was washing my hands about to walk out the bathroom, a couple of boys (no older than 11) in there asked me if I played football:
Me: No, I don't
Boy 1: You look like someone who'd play football for (my college)
Boy 2: Yeah you look buff.
Me: Thanks. I've thought about it [playing casually, but not for college], but never did.
Boy 1: Why don't you start now?
Me: [I was kinda stunned for minute. I don't remember the last time someone has been in the position to ask me "why haven't you done that thing you've wanted to do?" It was surprising]. I'll think about it, but I got to get to class.
Boys: See ya
That conversation was interesting. Just yesterday I thought again about playing some flag football next semester. It's just that I have no idea what my schedule will be like. But I guess this is a way for the universe to let me know I should try it. I don't remember the last time a kid came up to talk to me, I'm never around them. And I certainly have never had a kid say something that really made me think lol.
In terms of my physical health, I feel healthy despite my nutrition. It's not the best, but it's what I have time to buy as I go. I haven't felt sick or anything. However, this week my lower back was sore for a few days. It only got sore if started to bend forward. I changed my sleeping position and I think it's gone. But this morning, the second day since I started sleeping on my back, I woke up in the middle of the night with a burning throat. Apparently, I had some acid reflux in my sleep. I went by a doctor and he said that lots of fats before sleep could have caused it. I'm going to cut down on my fat intake. I'm looking forward to starting the Whole30 detox next month when I don't have class. This summer I'm going to get lean! Being a bit lazy about it, I think I'm somewhere between 17-20% bodyfat. It's all in my torso, mainly the stomach area, and a bit on the chest. But on a good chest day, when I'm pumped up, it's not noticeable at all.
Still keeping my hours as high as possible. Gonna apply for jobs I feel I'd enjoy. I also started listening to trickling stream at night and ultrasonic during daytime.
The first night I started trickling stream (a couple days ago), I felt a tingling sensation in my temples. No pain, just tingles. I noticed this is happening during the day as well even when not listening. Is this the state changing taking effect? The tingling just started for me.
Edit: Forgot to mention that a couple of days ago, while meditating, I shed a few real, full tears. It worth mentioning because I rarely shed actual tears anymore. The last time I did was a year ago when I was on EPRHA 1.0 and before that, I don't remember exactly.
Also, tonight I was out with a couple of friends to see a show a couple of our friends were in. I just didn't feel free. There were a lot of people. I don't know why, but I tend to not feel free in huge crowds for some reason (except for times I'm causing the crowd, like street hypnosis, then I thrive on it). On top of that, I saw a girl that I didn't have sex with a couple years ago. It's a long stupid story where both wanted sex, but apparently neither of us were able to communicate it to each other and it went downhill from there. It made me feel more uncomfortable. She's the reason I feel uncomfortable in my major (I know I'm at fault here. I mean it's the interaction at that time that took place that led me to where I am now). Why were we both under the same roof after all this time? I didn't ever want to see her again. Afterwards, I thought to myself that even after all this time I still didn't have it. I still didn't have that raw sexual magnetism that I've wanted in my life. But then I thought to myself that I can't think that anymore. I have the raw sexual magnetism within me because everything is within me. I just haven't revealed it yet.
This week was emotionally better overall than the last. I'm noticing that slowly I'm shifting from trying to hold on to feeling good to it being easy for me to feel good throughout the day. The length of my pain body attacks are getting weaker and lasting less time.
Over the past month, I've gotten interested in doing everything I can to raise my vibration and cleanse and take of care of my energy/chakra.
Also, some cool things happened this week.
For the third time, I tried telling one of my close guy friends about all the stuff I've learned about the universe. The first two times, a friend of theirs came in to talk to them or they had to head in a different direction than I was. This time, right as I started telling him, a group of my female friends just show up and say hey to me. I said hey, but that I was busy and I continued to finally tell my friend what I wanted to tell him. He said that I seem happier (which I thought was interesting. I wasn't trying to be happy and I didn't feel happier than what I usually feel when I'm happy). I now tend to snap into positive emotional states easier than before.
There was also a time that I got on this bus to go somewhere to eat. A girl was on the bus too (not that physically attractive to me though). We get to the plaza, and get out. I go get my food and get get back on the next bus which was already there. Then the same girl gets on this bus, we make eye contact, and she starts to laugh after a second. We both thought it was funny we just rode the bus to get food. I had a short convo with her and I didn't even have to try and I didn't feel any anxiety. Also, her laughing was ALMOST her starting a convo with me. I perceived this as physical proof my energy changing for the better.
Today when I was washing my hands about to walk out the bathroom, a couple of boys (no older than 11) in there asked me if I played football:
Me: No, I don't
Boy 1: You look like someone who'd play football for (my college)
Boy 2: Yeah you look buff.
Me: Thanks. I've thought about it [playing casually, but not for college], but never did.
Boy 1: Why don't you start now?
Me: [I was kinda stunned for minute. I don't remember the last time someone has been in the position to ask me "why haven't you done that thing you've wanted to do?" It was surprising]. I'll think about it, but I got to get to class.
Boys: See ya
That conversation was interesting. Just yesterday I thought again about playing some flag football next semester. It's just that I have no idea what my schedule will be like. But I guess this is a way for the universe to let me know I should try it. I don't remember the last time a kid came up to talk to me, I'm never around them. And I certainly have never had a kid say something that really made me think lol.
In terms of my physical health, I feel healthy despite my nutrition. It's not the best, but it's what I have time to buy as I go. I haven't felt sick or anything. However, this week my lower back was sore for a few days. It only got sore if started to bend forward. I changed my sleeping position and I think it's gone. But this morning, the second day since I started sleeping on my back, I woke up in the middle of the night with a burning throat. Apparently, I had some acid reflux in my sleep. I went by a doctor and he said that lots of fats before sleep could have caused it. I'm going to cut down on my fat intake. I'm looking forward to starting the Whole30 detox next month when I don't have class. This summer I'm going to get lean! Being a bit lazy about it, I think I'm somewhere between 17-20% bodyfat. It's all in my torso, mainly the stomach area, and a bit on the chest. But on a good chest day, when I'm pumped up, it's not noticeable at all.
Still keeping my hours as high as possible. Gonna apply for jobs I feel I'd enjoy. I also started listening to trickling stream at night and ultrasonic during daytime.
The first night I started trickling stream (a couple days ago), I felt a tingling sensation in my temples. No pain, just tingles. I noticed this is happening during the day as well even when not listening. Is this the state changing taking effect? The tingling just started for me.
Edit: Forgot to mention that a couple of days ago, while meditating, I shed a few real, full tears. It worth mentioning because I rarely shed actual tears anymore. The last time I did was a year ago when I was on EPRHA 1.0 and before that, I don't remember exactly.
Also, tonight I was out with a couple of friends to see a show a couple of our friends were in. I just didn't feel free. There were a lot of people. I don't know why, but I tend to not feel free in huge crowds for some reason (except for times I'm causing the crowd, like street hypnosis, then I thrive on it). On top of that, I saw a girl that I didn't have sex with a couple years ago. It's a long stupid story where both wanted sex, but apparently neither of us were able to communicate it to each other and it went downhill from there. It made me feel more uncomfortable. She's the reason I feel uncomfortable in my major (I know I'm at fault here. I mean it's the interaction at that time that took place that led me to where I am now). Why were we both under the same roof after all this time? I didn't ever want to see her again. Afterwards, I thought to myself that even after all this time I still didn't have it. I still didn't have that raw sexual magnetism that I've wanted in my life. But then I thought to myself that I can't think that anymore. I have the raw sexual magnetism within me because everything is within me. I just haven't revealed it yet.
